Dear chainsmoking customer.

[coyoteden.livejournal.com]

Your noted issue is that your computer has been locking up and powering off randomly.

Our diagnosis of the problem is that every internal surface of your machine is covered with a moist brown mat of tar and nicotine residue, which has attracted massive amounts of dust and grime.

It also appears to be growing a very foul-smelling fungus all over the CPU heatsink. The cooling fans were not operating.

Thank you for diligently scrubbing the ouside of the case clean, so I would have no idea what to expect upon opening it. Right after lunch.

We will include the EPA/Hazmat fees on your bill.

Comments

[hillarygayle.livejournal.com]

That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard. o_O!!!!

Do you get hazard pay?

[noiresque.livejournal.com]

Today's usr/bin/w00t (http://www.w00t-comic.net/index.html) covers that topic nicely I think. 3rd frame.

Yup.

[coyoteden.livejournal.com]

I thought it was ironic I saw that comic last night and today I got the plague box.

I'm hoping the perv doesn't show up tomorrow.

oh my god....

[jedisamui.livejournal.com]

that sounds just like a customer's machine i had to fix. Before I even cracked the case, the stinch filled the lab. And when I did crack the case, the stinch was even more potent and almost made me toss my cookies. I would honestly feel better if we descrimnated against our customers and refused to work on their PCs at the door.

This is why we keep latex gloves in-shop

[(Anonymous)]

I've left my digital camera at work.
From time to time I see something particularly disturbing and/or photoworthy come into the shop. Here are a few selected exerpts, for your viewing enjoyment, relevant to the story at hand.

http://zetafleet.com/files/work/DSCN1122.JPG - Dell Dimension 8100. Yes, that is tar. You know these fans cost $35 each, even from surplus?

http://zetafleet.com/files/work/DSCN1125.JPG - Gateway slotted Athlon system 120mm side fan. A cornucopia of flavour!

http://zetafleet.com/files/work/DSCN1129.JPG - Dell's old cases always manage to trap a lot of dust in the front intake. The amount in this one impressed me substantially.

The worst part of trying to describe why we hate working on smoker's computers online is that you cannot accurately portrait the stench.

--Colin

[dmsalem00.livejournal.com]

Why is it that I chainsmoked for two years around an old HP that i'd had for (now) a total of 4 and a half years, and I've only cleaned the innards once?

Mine wasn't nearly that bad..