Dear chainsmoking customer.

[coyoteden.livejournal.com]

Your noted issue is that your computer has been locking up and powering off randomly.

Our diagnosis of the problem is that every internal surface of your machine is covered with a moist brown mat of tar and nicotine residue, which has attracted massive amounts of dust and grime.

It also appears to be growing a very foul-smelling fungus all over the CPU heatsink. The cooling fans were not operating.

Thank you for diligently scrubbing the ouside of the case clean, so I would have no idea what to expect upon opening it. Right after lunch.

We will include the EPA/Hazmat fees on your bill.