(no subject)

[brotherflounder]

Dear Mother,

1) I am not your on-call technical support.

2) I realize that my idiot brother has managed to infect the home computer with 9341 viruses/trojan horses/worms. I also realize that you are annoyed because you cannot use the Internet.

3) Do not call me up and demand that I tell you RIGHT NOW if I can fix it. As I attempted to explain to you, there are many different things that could be wrong with the computer. I can fix most of them. Do NOT yell at me when I attempt to tell you that "the men" will simply wipe your computer without trying to fix it (as I may end up doing; if she's not exaggerating, the thing may be beyond help.)

4) When I tell you for the 15th time that I will not be home until Wednesday, as I am helping a friend move tomorrow, do NOT throw a hissy fit about not being able to use the computer. If you had done as I have been suggesting for over a year and replaced the computers at your office, you could simply go there and use the web. In fact, there's nothing stopping you from doing that RIGHT NOW, even though the computer is slow as molasses.

Love,
Your son

P.S. Do you have a clue-by-four with which I can beat my brother or do I need to bring mine home?

Insert Global Warming Reference Here

[nem0.livejournal.com]

Okay, I get that it's -30 outside and all, and the heaters in this new building don't work worth a damn, but if all of you bastards bring space heaters, it will blow the goddamn breakers, and you know what? I'm not going to fix it. If you don't have power in your office because you couldn't be bothered to buy a fucking sweater, do not bother crying to me. And if your cube neighbor blows the circuit you share? Take it up with her, not me. I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE COLD. LONG UNDERWEAR. IT IS CHEAP. INVEST. Seriously, how long have you lived in Montana? Oh, you're a proud native, are you? HOW ARE YOU NOT USED TO THIS BY NOW?

And before anyone else asks, no, I can't adjust the thermostats. Last time I did that, I got yelled at because, despite being in charge of building security and maintenance, I am apparently not authorized to adjust the heat. Look, the people in charge won't even fix the A/C in the server room, what makes you think they'll fix any of the other climate systems? Ask your secret santa for heated USB gloves if it bothers you that much.

Oh good, now there's that nice, happy burning smell in the air. Maybe I should print out some fire escape route posters before I go to lunch and don't come back.

(no subject)

[brinoceros.livejournal.com]

Hi everyone,

I really hope this is not an inappropriate place for this. Do any of you want a job doing front-end development in the San Francisco Bay Area (Redwood City)? Or maybe you have friends who are looking for a job? To be totally straightforward, I work for a search firm and I'm having trouble finding people who want to develop web applications. So I hate to resort to sending out messages to people I don't know, but it really might be a good opportunity for some of you. Someone with experience working at a web company and a technical degree from a decent school would be best (LAMP or demonstrated knowledge of AJAX, Javascript preferred). Let me know, email would be best (profrink12@yahoo.com).

Really sorry if this is just a bothersome message to you all. My company does pay a referral bonus though, of at least $500 if you put us in contact with someone who gets placed in the position. I'm not trying to mess with anyone; just trying to help somebody who is looking for a new job. I would never spam messages to people; I hope that's not how this is interpreted.

Thanks.
- Brian