Somehow I feel like you're lying to me

[yanni85.livejournal.com]

This morning we received the following alert from our NOC team:
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'<SQL Server>','<SBS Server>','<Image Server>' at '<Customer>' is currently down. Our agents are showing offline as well as the server is not responding to ping attempts from other servers in the network.
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Here's the problem: Those are the only three servers at the site. I am very curious to know how they made these supposed "ping attempts" from these mystical "other servers in the network".

School employees are funny.

[darkrose.livejournal.com]

Dear idiot university employee,

I do not appreciate you calling my DID line. Obviously you are such an idiot that you can't figure out how to "press '2' for support". I know it's option 2 because I recorded the message and set up the phone trees. I am guessing you started randomly hitting numbers and managed to get my extension.

I do not appreciate the use of foul language. As I told you before I hung up on you, I do appreciate your frustration, but I do NOT tolerate you dropping the F-bomb in reference to our software or your computer. We do not call our product "Fucking [product]" and I have yet to encounter a real device that actually allows a computer to become a "fucking computer". If there were such a device, I'm sure the manufacturers would be billionaires as it would make cybersex much, MUCH more interesting. As an aside, I'm thinking I should look into creating such a device.

I'm sure you didn't hear me when I told you that the software doesn't just magically appear on your computer, that it has to be installed, and the computer rebooted after installation. This was because you couldn't keep your mouth shut long enough to listen to what I was saying.

My job function is not to provide you with support, yet I tried to help you until you refused to treat me like a decent human being. I was trying to be a good guy, but you turned out to be an obnoxious asshole.

By the way, I found your title on the school's web site/directory. Perhaps I should send an e-mail to your IT department and CC your supervisor and let them know how you likely violated school policy by installing unauthorized software, then called the company that supplied you with the software and went on a foul-mouthed tirade, preventing someone from actually helping you. At best, maybe they can train you on how to speak to people over the phone and treat others with respect.

As you so eloquently put it: FUCK YOU,

~Darkrose

Henceforth let this be Stricken

[darkmattr.livejournal.com]

Dear Level 1 Support in Mumbai.

I personally shudder everytime you transfer a call to me and the first thing out of the Cretins mouth is "Thank God you speak English."

I also respect and fear people who still show up to work five miles from a major terrorist attack while it is still going on. I personally would be under my desk wetting myself in the fetal position.

I also understand that you speak english better then I speak Spanish, much less Hindi.

But please.

Please


Stop using the word Hence in your case notes.

Love and Kisses,
Me

Meeses

[krank-kether.livejournal.com]

Your LED mouse is not a laser mouse. Get over it!