(no subject)

[lolotehe]

Before you buy your elderly relative a computer, make sure they can use it.
Do this, or make sure you are on hand at all times to handle all computer-related problems.
Better yet, talk them out of it.

No words chill me quicker than, "My grandson get me this...."

(Side note: if you have a trust fund, hire someone to handle this sort of thing for you. Don't call us and get pissy because you don't know how to use a computer. You have a flipping trust fund. Take a class or hire someone.)

Feedback - is this too harsh

[excludingpauli.livejournal.com]

Background:  I am teaching an engineering class at a local college this semester and yesterday I asked a question (this is to senior computer engineers taking an elective "General engineering for CE/EE") that required converting "pounds to kilos."  The response was - why would we know that - we have calculators and memorization is silly.

Here is my response - from my own career:

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Career Limiting Moves

When I worked for a large engineering and construction firm, the process engineers (of which I was one) had a term for an action an engineer would take which would have an immediate and negative impact on his or her career.  The acronym we used to describe these actions was CLMs, which was pronounced clemz.  CLMs stood for “career limiting moves.”

Appreciate the power of the clem on your career path.

Use in a sentence: “He said THAT to his BOSS!!!  What a clem!”

Provide an example:  While working at this engineering and construction firm, I had occasion to visit a senior process engineer because I needed some information from him to size an equipment item.  When I walked into his office, I noticed that his eyes were literally bulging outside of their sockets and his face was an uncomfortable shade of bluish red.  I said, “Is something wrong?”  He said, “I gave a new engineer written instructions on how to access and use the material balance program* and told him to size some equipment.  You know what I got back?!” I said, “Sized equipment?” He said, “NOOOOOOOOO!!  I got this NOTE: ‘I couldn’t get the program to work. Either write better instructions or do it yourself.’  CAN YOU F—KING BELIEVE THIS?!!!!!!!**”  Then in a rather ominous tone he said,” As god is my witness, this kid will not make it through the year.”  True to his word, this new engineer left the company in under six months—I believe it was actually four months.  Was he fired? No.  He was just given work. Lots and lots of work.  Lots and lots of work--and no support. He started to miss deadlines—this drew the attention of other engineers who needed his work to do their work.  So they started calling him and visiting him--and complaining to him—sometimes really loudly--all while more work was moving in his direction.  Time to find a new job.

Quiz: Can you recognize clemz?

Scenario: You, newbie engineer, are in a meeting with your immediate boss (an engineer in her forties) and two members of your client’s project team at the client’s offices.  One client representative is a US engineer in his sixties; the other client representative is a European facility manager in his forties.  Your boss is going over a plot plan for a central office expansion. She mentions that the concrete pad for one of the equipment items is 40 feet by 50 feet.  The European manager asks, ”What is that in square meters?”  You see your boss’s head slowly swiveling in your direction, and you suddenly realize your calculator is on your office desk. Your boss turns to you and says, “What is it?” At this point, everyone has turned toward you, and they are waiting expectantly for your answer.  You still have said nothing. You note that your boss’s eyes are starting to narrow and the tips of her ears are starting to turn pink—an odd physical characteristic that you have learned means she is really getting PO’d. You have to speak.

When you open your mouth, which of the following is not a clem?

·         “I’m special and have always felt units conversions are beneath me.”

·         “If it’s squared, that means it’s an area, right?

·         “What do I look like—freakin’ Einstein?

·         “Hey, I am an (SCHOOL NAME) grad—if you want actual numbers, ask an MIT geek.”

·         “Ask the old dude—they used to have to memorize crap like that. YO!—old dude, show us your slide rule”

·         “I think it is probably a big number.”

·         “I think it is probably a small number.”

·         “Bigger than a breadbox.  Oh wait—a  breadbox would be a volume, right?

·         “Yeah, you keep giving me that look, bitch, and I’ll knock you out!”

·         “Are there logs involved? I don’t do logs.”

·         “It’ll take me a half-hour to drive back to the office and get my calculator.  What’s your cell phone number?  I’ll call you as soon as I figure it out.”

·         “Can I call in a lifeline?”

·         “HEY!  What’s that that just went by the window?!!!! I think someone jumped!”

·         “I have to go the bathroom.”

·         “I do not think unannounced quizzes are fair. I feel disappointed.”

·         “My religious beliefs prevent me from proselytizing. I have taken a solemn oath never to try to convert a unit.”

·         “Do you have an Internet connection?  There are lots of unit conversion programs on the web.”

·         “So how is the weather In Europe anyway?”

·         “Yesterday is history, and tomorrow is a mystery—but this moment is a gift, and that’s why they call it the present. Okay, everyone—let’s hold hands and sing kumbayya.”

·         “It’s approximately 180 square meters.”

Calculators are great tools—but that’s all they are.  They are not a substitute for your ability to do simple math in your head—or on the back of an envelope. Units are the part of the vocabulary of your profession, and they should come to you as easily as words do. Learn the basic unit conversions.

*Yes, there are programs to do these calculations, but you need to know what they are doing.

**Harsh language was a common part of the creative process at this particular firm.