Captain Repoint strikes again

[dragonbofh.livejournal.com]

D'you remember this guy who re-pointed his my-docs folder so many times I've now lost count? Well I finally stopped him doing it with a group policy on his local computer. But in true luser style he's found created another problem; He called me up again yesterday wanting to put all his PSTs onto his share. This is not a problem as the share's synchronized and as such will not kill the network while he's using the large PST files. So I show him how to copy his stuff across and because it'll take a few hours and I have stuff to do (I highlight copy because that becomes important later), I tell him to call me when it's done so I can re-map Outlook to point at the new location and check it all copied successfully. I happily wander off to whatever else I have to do for the day and wait for his call back.

Forward to this morning and i'm sitting at my desk when the phone rings.

( 'Tis the Captain! )

When did my life become a cartoon?

TWENTY MINUTES!

[phrogg.livejournal.com]

For the love of God, and all that is holy, WHY is it illegal to kill these people?!

((majority of conversation left out for brevity's sake))
Me: Okay, sir, i'd like you to look at [piece of hardware] and tell me what lights are on.
Him: Oh, there's five lights.
Me: *remote healthcheck on device, there is definitely not five lights, because that would mean it was online. But our apps have been known to lie before.* That's...odd. Let me reset that to see if we can get it working again...
*tries to send reset command, it fails. Device is definitely not online* Okay, sir...are you sure you're looking at [piece of hardware]?
Him: Uhm...excuse me?
Me: [same thing, described slightly differently], is that what you're looking at?
Him: OH! No, i'm looking at [completely unrelated device, that also happens to have five lights]...
Me: *wishes for ability to strangle people over TCP/IP* Okay, i need you to find the OTHER thing with five lights on it, only this time, make sure it says [brand name] on the side of it.
Him: Okay, give me one moment...okay, here it is.
Me: Okay, what lights do you have on it?
Him: None. They're all off.
Me: *mutes, smashes head on desk* Okay, could you check the power cord, make sure it hasn't come loose?
Him: Power cord? OH! I knew i forgot something...one moment....okay, there we go, it's working now.

I spent TWENTY MINUTES on the phone with this goofball, just to tell him to plug the damned thing in. Granted, some of it was our basic information gathering (name, number, acct info, etc), he swore up and down that he was looking at the right device, described it to me (he described our product almost to a tee), and was looking at something completely different, differently sized, differently shaped from what he was telling me. Why are people so fucktarded? They make the baby Jesus cry.

Um.

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

Customer's phone was vibrating suspiciously. And she was in a -real- hurry to get off the phone when we got her connected to the 'net again.

I feel like I've been molested via telephone :P

Lessons for the day

[mouser.livejournal.com]

Lesson #1: A cheap Linksys router can actually handle a lot of traffic from a lot of laptops. "50 laptops? It is to laugh!"

Lesson #2: When they all try to connect within 5 seconds of each other? Leeetle problem. BUT! It can recover if you give it a minute.

Lesson #3: If every one of the laptops has the same goddamn name, it MAY cause a few problems. "Which one of you was Spartacus again?" (Note: It will allow it though, and deals with it *fairly* well - even if EVERY one in the class is asking why their computers complains at connection time.)