Monday quickie...

[dragonbofh.livejournal.com]

Subtitle: You mean I have to actually DO something...?

User: Which is the colour printer for this building?
Me: *points it out in his list* That one.
User: Cheers *goes off to print*
Me: *Plays with a magnetic screwdriver for a couple of minutes*
User: *storms back in waving a bit of paper* It's not a colour printer!
Me: Yes it is
User: No it i...
Me: *interrupting* Yes it is.
User: It didn't print this out in colour *thrusts paper forward*
Me: Did you tell it to print in colour? *Before getting an answer, I show him how to change the setting* like this.
User: Oh... Okay. *wanders off to count his brain cells*
Me: *Hehe, magnet sticks to stuff*

There's also a weird bloke working here today who really bothers the crap out of me; He's hot-desking over the other side of the room and every few minutes gets up, wanders over somewhere in my vicinity with his eyes fixed on me or my workstation and then, just as it appears he's about to ask something, about-faces and walks back, sitting down heavily in his chair and carries on working.
This guy's pretty ancient (and a lawyer) and I'm no expert, but I think he's a distinct case of being a pickle short of a cheeseburger.

worthless POS special deals....

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

Went to Frys with the Girl to get my birthday present.
Came home with a fancy case & power supply, other nifty bits, and the Fry's bundled Quadcore Intel.

I'm building it up. I plug in the new external HD I've backed up my data to.
What message do I see?

NO HIGH SPEED USB PORTS AVAILABLE ON THIS COMPUTER!! The board is ready for a quad core processor, but no high speed USB! What a crock of shit!

* Crock of Shit = ECS G31T-M mobo

Even after installing the board INF and other drivers, it still gives me that damn "this device could work faster if" when I plug in an external drive. I've just downloaded the latest from ECS, but can't install till the second drive completes its format.

Any recommendations of what board I should replace this useless piece of crap with? I just hate that I have to spend even more on this thing...  (not a "help me please IT gods" post)

God, but I hate tech some days.
(usually it takes a vaio to get me this cranked)

had to throw this one out.

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

a co-worker comes to me and has to tell me this one. he was talking to one of the administrators or directors, dont remember who, who is having trouble connecting up via vpn on her laptop.
she starts the conversation by saying that she doesn't have internet at home.
O_o
well ma'am, how WERE you connecting to the vpn?
oh, there was this connection that popped up called "linksys1" but now it's gone, how do i get it back?
........ O_o
wweeeelllll it looks like you were connecting to one of your neighbors wireless connections and they cut you off.
oh... which one?

no words man...

Valis

Why I shoudl attemtp to stick to the dress code...

[arabwel.livejournal.com]

Now, the dress code, the bane of us all, at my place of work is "business casual". I am never face to face with customers unless it is a VIP visit to see us monkeys, so in general we get plenty of warning for those and just ignore everything when we know were free.

Now, my job? sit at the computer and take calls. Not anything resembling hardware stuff.

and yet the on site not getting their butts to our corner of the cube farm to fix this little problem with an extension cord powering my cube mate's computer being in prime position to get tangled at my feet and therefore resulting accidental power cycling at bad times...

led to me crawling under the cube in platform boots and a corset sellotaping the bloody thing in place until we can get the actual onsite to do something aboutit.

All I can say is, don;t try this at home.

Ow.

(xposted to techcomedy)

Never Drink And Internets!

[diseased-idiot.livejournal.com]

Most people, when drinking Gin for 5 hours and being near an internet connection, decide to post shit all other the internet and MSN embarrasing themselves in earnest. Then dealing with it the next day, head held in shame.

I, however, decided implementing an SMTP gateway between my Exchange box and the internet remotely, from home was an excellent idea.

And I actually did it right. It works! So far.... I may find out tomorrow that it's actually fucked.

At least I decided to stop before I changed the IP address range of all the servers and DHCP scope in the company..... Remotely...... over RDP.....

Is there such a thing as "too geeky"?

(no subject)

[jcaswell.livejournal.com]

hisamishness's post reminded me of something. Some idiot at work (i.e. someone with NO FUCKING CLUE about computers and y'know, what we actually NEED) bought 30 laptops a couple of months back. All fine and dandy, they were shiny and everything, until we came to trying to download the videos the kids had made on the equally shiny new camcorders. 30 laptops, no fucking firewire ports.

(We had no input whatsoever into these laptops, in fact the first we knew of them was when I got a call one day saying "Jo, can you set these new laptops up for us? They need to be ready for the kids to use in a couple of days" There followed half an hour of me and my colleagues saying "you know anything about these laptops?" and the others replying "what laptops?")

*sigh*