Things that make you go "Ohhhh crap...."

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

So, I was interviewed for a new helpdesk job yesterday [w00t!] with a $verybigcompany.

Anyway, part of the interview process involved the standard "sit next to one of our employees and listen in while we sneakily watch you."... and I noticed that:
a] they're using the same database program for accounts as my last job.
b] the agent doesn't know some of the more useful keyboard shortcuts.

So I showed her them, being a helpful sort and she was ever-so grateful. Apparently they never covered those in training and no-one there knew about them, not even the supervisors/floor walkers. A fact confirmed independently by the interviewer later.

It's only after I've accepted the job offer, left the building and I'm on my way home that it occurs to me to think. The training for this position is over 2 months long, and it's a simple help-desk operation....
and that agent was one of their most experienced ones...
and somehow in the entire X years they'd been using this program, no-one there had picked up on the more basic tricks?!

Oh. dear... this is going to be painful isn't it?!

Troubleshooting

[poggs.livejournal.com]

I had two guys request that we "reboot the Datacentre" because an application hosted on a server isn't working.

We decided to investigate further before turning our hosting facility off and then on again.

Ladies and genthemen, our users.

[toxico.livejournal.com]

Hi xxxxxxxxx,

I have my computer at home and it’s XP Minillium something like that, but it doesn’t have excel I tried to Download the one from MicroSoft Office for Free, you know Trial period. Anyway I have to do some spreadsheets for work. Is there any assistance you can offer me?

XP Minillium. Mi-Nill-Ee-fucking-Um.

I want to drive a garbage truck up this woman's urethra now pls kthx.

DOH

[cjkline83.livejournal.com]

Note to self... changing the LCD Panel Type in an integrated PC from 02 to (any other number) will render the display useless and you'll need to tear the machine apart, remove the CMOS battery and let the unit sit until it releases the data back to the default.

Yay for learning by failure.

Minor frustration

[dragonbofh.livejournal.com]

Why is it that dispite knowing I am in the IT department, that I'm actually quite good at my job, and that I have software and hardware available to me that they can only dream of, a user still insists on doing something 'their' way just to show me, before reliquinshing controll of their beloved laptop?

Case in point, just now a user comes to me asking :
User: "Hey, my laptop's running real slow, I need to get some more memory for my laptop, I think it only has 256meg, will it be okay if I order some off $techwebsite?"
Me: *Being aware that a tech-refresh is iminent and knowing this user has an older laptop, I check the spreadsheet and bingo, he's marked for an upgrade* "Ahh well good news, you don't have to spend any money because you have an upgrade coming to you!"
User: "Ahh.... " *aquard pause* "I don't really want an upgrade, my laptop works just fine, it just needs more RAM"
Me: *What the jesusbisquits? he's refusing an upgrade from a 500mhz 256meg machine to a core-2 duo laptop with a gig of shiny shiny ram?*" Uhh, okay, you'll need to make sure you get the right type, do you know what's in your machine?"
User: "Yeah, I checked it on Crucial configurator"
Me: *not having much faith that he'll have got this right* "Why don't I just check?"
User: "Well, I already checked it..."
Me: "It'll only take a minute"
User: "uhh... well okay, here letmeshowyou!" *grabs laptop and spends 5 minutes trying to locate the crucial site, then the configurator to input his laptop*
Me: *Lalala, reads the register*
User: "There it is" *shows that the laptop takes DDR*
Me: "Okay, let me just check" * Takes 30 seconds and brings up CPUZ and confirms that miraculiously the user got it right* "Yep, that's what you need" *walks off*

So firstly this luser refuses an upgrade then dosen't trust that I can find the type of RAM he needs. Shall I just resign now, since I'm obviously not needed? *eyeroll*