Wendy's

[cjkline83.livejournal.com]

Okay. I know its your lunch period. I know your cash drawer won't "pop". This is why we give you drawer keys, so that if the mechanisim that opens the drawer breaks, or the register malfunctions, you can access the money in side. Just take that key, and turn it to the right, and your drawer will open.

What's that? You don't have the key we told you to keep in the safe?

How unfortunate. That'll be $150/hr, or you can try to get a key from a district manager, and explain to them why you pissed off a bunch of customers because you lost your drawer keys.

Your ignorance is not our fault, and does not warrent emergency service.

DOES NOT

[pixeltwist.livejournal.com]

Your computer being slow DOES NOT mean your internet is slow
Yes, your computer was running fine until you upgraded to broadband. No, it's not our fault that viruses are now able to infect your computer '500 times faster than dial-up'!

Wireless service DOES NOT equal Cellular service
Does your cordless phone work like your cell phone? No, it doesn't.

Network Connections DOES NOT equal Internet Options
I don't know how many times a day I ask a customer to click 'Network Connections' and they ask 'Internet Options?'. They don't look or sound anything alike!'

'Pinging your computer' DOES NOT actually DO anything
Yes, I know the national help desk agent did it. Why didn't I do it? Because I don't need to. Also, ipconfig doesn't actually DO anything either. Stop acting like you know something.

Just because the last tech did it DOES NOT mean I'm going to do it again
It seems like people get so frustrated when they have to do the same steps over and over again, but they also get frustrated when you don't do the exact same thing the last tech did. Sometimes I will get a ticket passed to me that actually has good notes. Stop trying to second guess me. After clicking on Start, I want you to go to the Control Panel. If I wanted you to click on Run, I would have told you to.

Running the ISP 'install' CD DOES NOT actually DO anything
Did you even try to get online? Go ahead, try it. Oh, you can connect? Yeah, that's because that CD doesn't do anything except brand your IE and give you errors about nothing.

Having an email address through your ISP DOES NOT guarantee it's safety.
Something as simple as swapping out your modem incorrectly can erase all your emails from your account. Then I have to put a ticket into the NOC to get it fixed, and you won't be getting your emails back. It's your fault for having your business email address through your ISP and not using an email client as backup. Remind me never to do business with you. Also, what are you planning on doing if you move to an area that doesn't have our service? We're not paying for you to reprint all your business cards.

You racking up tons of minutes on your cell phone because of something that may even be our fault DOES NOT mean we're going to pay your cell phone bill.
I mean, come on, use some logic. How are we going to pay that, even if we wanted to? Cut you a check? We can't take it off your bill with us. You should have found another way to call in.

I'm done ranting. :/
/goes back to lurking/

Why?

[dusktodawn.livejournal.com]

We built a brand new system for this guy...
he gets it home and installs AOL
he starts getting error messages and locking up, something , SOMEHOW got corrupted
we format and reinstall everything, even AOL, it works fine

he gets it home and tries to upgrade from the version we had on there to a new one
random error messages and locking up
he brings it in, we fix it and THINK we talked him out of AOL (mind you, he has broadband....)

He gets it home, installs it ANYWAY and gets error messages, AOL won't work, freezes up, tries to uninstall but you know AOL there's still a random file that HAS to be on there that the computer says is still running or gives an error about...
brings it in, we FIX IT. it works, it's FINE
He gets it home and it mysteriously starts giving him errors about something. Turns out he was dicking around with AOL.
Again we fix it...again... the boss tells him ALL of AOL is off of there and for him to reinstall when he gets home (unknowing of this guys previous AOL shenanigans)

He brings it BACK because of error messages about his printer. mentions that instead of using his disks, he tried to download AOL online. LOW AND BEHOLD, he's still having problems.

Note: every time he brings it in he says, "i know it's probably AOL..." then why keep up this bullshit you ask? I don't know but here's the kicker...

You know what he has the nerve to say on this LAST time bringing it in......?

GUESS?

"Maybe I should get a refund and go get an HP?"

Sure :D we service HP's too, and since we courteously did ALL of that work under warranty, with the HP, you'll HAVE to pay for it when it fucks up, AND IT WILL FUCK UP BECAUSE IT IS AOL:D