Things that irritate you about people.

[laptop-mechanic.livejournal.com]

Lets talk a little about customers/users, shall we? Here are some of the things that really irritate the hell out of me...

• I do not care that you have lots of letters after your name. That does not automatically make you more worthy of service that anybody else. We work on a first come, first served basis. You've been told this before. Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
  
• I do not have access to matter transport technology. This means that yes, you will have to wait for parts to arrive just like everybody else. No, I do not have a warehouse crammed full of notebook parts hidden in my pocket. Yes, this does mean that you will have to leave your Precious with us.
  
• This is the 4th hard drive I've replaced for you in as many years. Learn to make backups and you won't have to keep paying us to recover your data. There are two kinds of hard drives, after all: Those that HAVE failed, and those that WILL fail. Plan accordingly.
  
• No, I will not evaluate your machine while you wait and let you take it back with you till the parts come? Why? Well, the tests I have to run can sometimes take several hours to complete. And there are 10 machines that came in ahead of yours that need to be looked at before I can look at yours.  No, I'm not kidding. Well, I'm sorry you need it for $TASK this afternoon. Maybe you can bring it back later.
  
• And accordingly, no, I cannot guarantee that your machine will be evaluated by the end of the day. Our evaluation period is 2 business days. That is the earliest that I can promise. Yes, it may be sooner. But no promises.
  
• This is your machine right? Why am I spending more time talking to your mommy or daddy about it than you? You're in college now. Step up.
  
• When I say your warranty doesn't cover the repair, that is exactly what I mean. Sure, you thought the Apple was cute, didn't you? Well, Apple doesn't cover spills, so that drink you doused on your machine last night while partying means you're gonna have to spend north of $1k to fix it. No, it doesn't matter that you bought AppleCare. They still won't fix it.  Yes, I am 100% absolutely sure.
  
• Whats that you say? You didn't spill anything on your machine? Well, somebody did. I'd check with your friends and/or room mates. No, I most certainly am not lying, and I resent the implication. Here, take a look at these pictures I took of the machine.  Whats that you say, mommy? Your little darling Britney doesn't drink? Well, SOMEBODY was enjoying a cosmopolitan a little too much. Listen, I don't care WHAT kind of liquid it is. The fact is, since it is INSIDE the machine, your warranty is now null and void. Have a nice day.
  
• And while we're on the subject of fibbing, DO NOT LIE TO ME about what you did to your machine.  It wastes my time and yours. Be honest with me and I'll be able to turn it around much faster. To say nothing of the fact that it will be blatantly obvious to me that somebody else was inside the unit once I start looking at it.
  
• Calling me every half hour to see if your machine is done will not get it done any faster. The time I'm spending talking to you is time I am NOT SPENDING fixing your machine. So shut the hell up and let me work. I told you I'd call when it was done. If you haven't heard from me yet, that means ITS NOT DONE.
  

That'll do for starters.

(no subject)

[upforafight.livejournal.com]

Me: "Okay ma'am, can I just get you to go to the HP website?"

Inbred greasball hick: "Is that on the internet?"

Me: *mute* sigh....

(no subject)

[mightyj.livejournal.com]

I hate SOX. It is the bane of my existence.

Clue bat wanted.

[miertam.livejournal.com]

Luser calls this morning at 9:45am (we open at 10am) and babbles at me in broken English. My computer that you fixed two weeks ago is doing the same thing. Now I am a nice guy and after the forth time he says this I get a word in edgewise and ask him his name. AHH Yes I remember you you bought the cheapest computer in the shop then brought it back 4 days later because you wanted a black one, then groused cause we charged you a restocking fee, then 13 days later you brought it in because it got really slow and the no-charge stopped working. So you have re infected your machine with Spy-ware and the Viri-Du-Jour. I explain that yes the machine was clean when we sent it out of the shop and that yes we will have to charge you the hourly rate to clean it again. after 10 minutes of explaining that why yes we are a non-profit we still need some sort of income keep the power on and the landlord from booting us out I get him off the phone. (whew)

10:46am Luser calls again this time to talk to another tech I overhear almost word for word the same conversation he had with me. Luser hangs up after being told he will have to pay for the repair.

11:30am Luser calls to tell me he will be bringing his system in tomorrow at around noon. So if I could clear my schedule he would really appreciate it since he can only afford his flex car for 2 hours. I point out that there are other machines in the queue and I can't just jump his to the front. His reply "Oh, I thought you might do it as a favor to me."


I am really thinking about calling in homicidal tomorrow.

Not actually written into today's case notes...

[jjjiii]

"$luser is "naturally blonde" and merely appears to be brown-haired due to prolonged storage of head up own ass."

(no subject)

[hangar.livejournal.com]

Okay, wow. My stepfather is the type of person that won't take my word for anything tech support related, which, okay - maybe it's that I'm only 20, maybe it's that I'm a girl, maybe it's that he desperately needs to feel relevant. I have no idea. Anyway, instead he takes his chances with.. *dun dun dun* DELL TECH SUPPORT!

That's right, ladies & gents, instead of little old me, he'd rather deal with some random twit that thought virtual memory = physical memory! The only thing he trusts me with is ridding his laptop of viruses after he's been surfing porn.. and I think that's only the embarrassment factor.

No wonder some people think tech support people are idiots. I'm guessing they've been dealing with Dell.