A video casette?

[255-255-255-0.livejournal.com]

me: IT  support medium company 200+ users

L'user: how do you use a video?
me: How do I  use a video?  I  put the cassette in and press PLAY.

(Are you ready for this)
L'user: can you come and show me?

I attend and demonstrate inserting a cassette and pressing PLAY.

L'user: Oh Thanks, so I just press the big green button then.

Head-Desk

Queries I have had recently

[255-255-255-0.livejournal.com]

Just this morning I have had:

My computer is too loud, I can hardly work
**So I attend expecting a noise like a 747, erm no it sounds like every other P4 we have

My printer uses too much ink, it's ran out already and I have only had it three months
** How long do you want an ink cartridge to last !?

I know this isn't funny i just pisses me off having to waste my time humoring people with these sort of questions and it does me good to vent.
I wish I could just tell them if that's the biggest problem in their life, be happy.

I want to run away.

Blargh.

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

An IM conversation an hour ago:

Cow-irker: kizayaen? we have an issue with the rates for $CLIENT.
Me: Has $BOSS been told? She did a bunch of work on them Friday. If we change them, then she'll need to redo calculations for rounding errors.
Cow-irker: ok. the tobacco discount isn't being calculated properly again... and $BOSS is in transit.

An email from cow-irker a few minutes ago:

kizayaen,

Here are the rates that are currently incorrect in the database for $CLIENT. Please make sure you update $SERVER2 after updating $SERVER1. Attached is $SPREADSHEET with the specific $DATA.

CC: $BOSS, $COW-IRKER_BOSS, $COWORKER2, $NAME_I_DON'T_RECOGNISE

What part of "somebody else has to handle this" equals "Sure, send your boss AND mine an email implying that I've agreed to do it?"

I responded with a semi-snappy one-line reply-to-all email along the lines of "As I told you on IM, I'm extremely hesitant to fill the tables with data that $BOSS is just going to have to immediately correct again."

Wha?

[darkrose.livejournal.com]

I just had someone call in on my private line here at work and ask me if they needed a CD burner to burn Photo CDs. Someone I didn't know (eg: not my parents, friends, etc).

That's all fine and good except I work in server support (basically tier 3 support + in-house server admin stuff), and I was in the process of doing Very Important Stuff(tm)...like reading the sports stuff on the internets and trolling some message boards.

Is it wrong I transferred them to the phone monkeys?

I think we've been infiltrated

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

We have a new team member on the helpdesk. He has a prestigious (just ask him) IT degree from an overseas university, and seemed like a good catch at first. I'm beginning to wonder if that 'university' operates out of someone's kitchen. The lad is dense. You can't tell him anything, and he seems incapable of learning.

Here's a dramatisation of a conversation between us:

Him: "After she reads a message in Outlook, it disappears from the inbox."
Me: "She probably customised the folder view to only show unread messages."
Him: "No, you don't understand. When she's read the message, it disappears from the inbox."
Me: "Yeah, I know. The folder's probably set to only show unread messages."
Him: "No! When she reads a message, it disappears!"
Me: "Look, I really think if you check the folder view--"
Him: "You don't understand! When she reads a message, it disappears!"
Me: How is that different from what I--? Screw it, I have my own work to do. "I don't know what's wrong."

A few minutes later I heard him telling the user someone must have hacked her account.

And then later the same day:

Him: "Harry, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
Me: Well, I have a sandwich in my mouth and a newspaper open on my knees... oh what the hell, I'll be generous. "Go ahead."
Him: "You know how you're driving your car and you stop at a light and someone comes and starts washing your windscreen? Why do they do that?"
Me: *blinky blinky* "Uh... I don't know."