we can all relate to this

[slayne-souls.livejournal.com]

HellDesk Morons strike again

[grayhawkfh.livejournal.com]

So there I was, at my desk, Dell DJ playing one of the discs from "Mob Hits" and downloading a metric assload of drivers from Dell for a new laptop baseline project, when the feeling of hot breath on my neck indicated I had a visitor.

Now since a: Mrs. Grayhawk was not in the building and b: There ain't no delightful young ladies in the building who pay any attention to me unless I'm fixing their computers, I immediately assume that it's c: One of the HellDesk techs has another problem more advanced that walking upright.

Suppressing the desire to educate this refugee from the local drooler ward about personal space using high voltage, I quickly turned around and scooted away from the noxious ochre fumes emanating from his mouth.

The words weren't any better. "I'm assigning you a ticket for $asshat_customer." My soul dies a little more.

"Why," I said, "are you assigning this to me?"

"He's getting an VPN error that says he needs to disable eye-Pee-ess-eee-see. Everyone heard that and no one knew what that was".

Oh $Deity, give me strength.

I handed a wad of napkins to this neanderthal throwback. "Stop drooling on my carpet. You can't turn off IPSec, he won't be able to connect to our VPN at all. Has anyone done any troubleshooting at all?"

Blank stares greeted me. After about a minute, it finally dawned on him what "troubleshooting" was. "No. We came directly to you."

People wonder why I keep a tennis ball at my desk. That's because it's wonderful to squeeze when I get pissed off. And, if I break it, there's no mess, unlike most corporate-stress-relieving-squeeze toys. I was now doing my best to completely disrupt the molecular bonds of the tennis ball.

"GO. AND. TROUBLESHOOT. NOW! Find out what VPN Setting he fouled up that is causing his problem!"

Grumbling in caveman, he turned and shambled out. I had had enough. I went to the HD manager and described what had happened. He was looking at the same ticket and was wondering why no troubleshooting had been done.

I sense a LART coming on. A shame I won't see it in person.

(x-posted to TSC)