HellDesk Morons strike again

[grayhawkfh.livejournal.com]

So there I was, at my desk, Dell DJ playing one of the discs from "Mob Hits" and downloading a metric assload of drivers from Dell for a new laptop baseline project, when the feeling of hot breath on my neck indicated I had a visitor.

Now since a: Mrs. Grayhawk was not in the building and b: There ain't no delightful young ladies in the building who pay any attention to me unless I'm fixing their computers, I immediately assume that it's c: One of the HellDesk techs has another problem more advanced that walking upright.

Suppressing the desire to educate this refugee from the local drooler ward about personal space using high voltage, I quickly turned around and scooted away from the noxious ochre fumes emanating from his mouth.

The words weren't any better. "I'm assigning you a ticket for $asshat_customer." My soul dies a little more.

"Why," I said, "are you assigning this to me?"

"He's getting an VPN error that says he needs to disable eye-Pee-ess-eee-see. Everyone heard that and no one knew what that was".

Oh $Deity, give me strength.

I handed a wad of napkins to this neanderthal throwback. "Stop drooling on my carpet. You can't turn off IPSec, he won't be able to connect to our VPN at all. Has anyone done any troubleshooting at all?"

Blank stares greeted me. After about a minute, it finally dawned on him what "troubleshooting" was. "No. We came directly to you."

People wonder why I keep a tennis ball at my desk. That's because it's wonderful to squeeze when I get pissed off. And, if I break it, there's no mess, unlike most corporate-stress-relieving-squeeze toys. I was now doing my best to completely disrupt the molecular bonds of the tennis ball.

"GO. AND. TROUBLESHOOT. NOW! Find out what VPN Setting he fouled up that is causing his problem!"

Grumbling in caveman, he turned and shambled out. I had had enough. I went to the HD manager and described what had happened. He was looking at the same ticket and was wondering why no troubleshooting had been done.

I sense a LART coming on. A shame I won't see it in person.

(x-posted to TSC)

Comments

[catmmo.livejournal.com]

Sounds like some of my co-workers and our "helpless desk".

It's no wonder I can't seem to find a different job in my field since they are obviously being taken by morons.

BTW, *love* your descriptions of that guy.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

Oh thank god someone else is suffering from an Idiot Desk. Yes, Windows-based VPNs work really well in general if eye-Pee-ess-eee-see is turned off. Indeedy.

As for "troubleshooting", what's that? No, you can't expect the Helpless Desk to actually read the content of a bounced email and explain to the user they spelled the address wrong. Or note who the message was sent to and an approximate time it was sent when they log the goddamned job ticket to me.

[canray.livejournal.com]

VPNs working, hah! That's a riot!!!

[curmudgn]

So there I was, at my desk, Dell DJ playing one of the discs from "Mob Hits" and downloading a metric assload of drivers from Dell for a new laptop baseline project

Latitude? D630? D830? Mobile Precision?

And you do realize you must be one of the nobbut forty people in the Whole Entire World who actually own a DJ?

[grayhawkfh.livejournal.com]

Actually, FWIW, it's a project involving multiple laptops, including (but not limited to) Latitude D600, D610, D620, D800, D810, & D820.

I *like* my DDJ, and what's more, I've purchased 2 of them for less than it would cost me to get 1 iPod.

I know community lurkers fragbert & voiceofthelost swear by theirs a s well...

[curmudgn]

I *like* my DDJ, and what's more, I've purchased 2 of them for less than it would cost me to get 1 iPod.

Yes; pity they've gone out of production and it's gonna get hard to find parts.

it's a project involving multiple laptops, including (but not limited to) Latitude D600, D610, D620, D800, D810, & D820.

Dx00s? Those are gettin' kinda long in the tooth. They're 4½ years old by now.