yay stupidity!

[viper0775.livejournal.com]

Client: Yeah go track down why x.x.x.x IP isn't pingable and x.x.x.x/24 doesn't seem to route from outside
Me: uh ok... *checks router configs* hmmmm everything is fine...
Me: *calls ISP and explains*
ISP: Your IP isn't pingable...
ISP: Wait neither is our side...
ISP: uh.. your interface is administratively down... suspended for billing reasons
Me: okies, thanks much! *click*
Me: *runs off to punch accounting people in the face*

(x-post: personal and techsupport)

Masterpiece

[ptstech.livejournal.com]

Got pointed to this link: http://hardocp.com/news.html?news=Mjc1MTksLCxoZW50aHVzaWFzdCwsLDE= .  Shows what happens when a "master" at computers gets stumped...

My 4-year-old can design better than this

[margaretc.livejournal.com]

We have a web designer in-house who wants to set up his web pages so that once the user is logged in on a secure page there are redirects that send the user back to http/port 80/insecure/unencrypted web pages for the rest of the browsing session (this is the same guy it took 5 days to help buy a secure certificate).

We've worked for 3 or 4 days with mod_rewrite and weird redirect rules and finally actually got it WORKING, and he comes out with this gem:


It works as expected with a slight wrinkle. I've tried it in IE and the testing/ directory takes more than a few minutes to load and throws up numerous Security Alert popups, almost continuosly, I think it is because the images and css files are in different directories than the php file, but for IE it's really a deal braker. Perhaps we can find some code that fixes this?

My patience, it grows thin...

[grayhawkfh.livejournal.com]

OK, so I'm part of the Windows engineering/Lvl. 3 support team.

It's not my job to monitor the Helldesk queue. However, when I have a moment, I check on it in case there's some information I can offer to help them (especially the obscure, agency-specific issues). What can I say: if I give them help in the ticket, maybe they won't come drool on my floor, asking for help.

So when I see a ticket that says:

Summary: Workstation is now frozen
I(ssue):workstation needs to be baselined
V(erify info):correct
T(roubleshooting):I am creating this ticket

I get annoyed.

No troubleshooting notes. No indication that anyone visited the client. No indication of any effort put forth whatsoever by the person who took this call.

F**king incompetent HellDesk Monkeys. We only have 2 good ones left - and they spend most of their 40 hrs a week cleaning up after the other ones. The rest have yet to show any inclination they have climbed higher on the evolutionary ladder than a slime mold.

I *so* want to call them on this incompetent, lazy ass bullshit. But it's not my place. I'm third tier support, not the HellDesk manager.

Fortunately, one of the two competent ones went down just now to look at the PC. He told me of a jewelry auction toolbar and some other crapware. Needs to be cleaned, not baselined. And thank heaven for that, since it contains a fairly critical app.

I swear to high heaven, I'm gonna start beating these monkeys within an inch of their worthless lives.

Ah f**kit. It wouldn't do any good. As Ron White says, "You can't fix stupid".

OMGWTFBBQ

[grayhawkfh.livejournal.com]

One of the other helldesk monkeys just submitted a ticket:

Here is the Summary, in it's entirety:

Summary: Problem

::headdesk::
::headdesk::
::headdesk::
::headdesk::
::headdesk::
::headdesk::

Update: Now the summary reads: CHECK WORK LOG

::soul dies a little::

EndUpdate

It gets better!

[margaretc.livejournal.com]

This morning I posted this. Bossman asked the designer for an example of where this works the way he wants it to, so designer sends back this:

$URL - from the top right-hand block you'll see that IE only receives one warning, but there are multiple items being pulled into the creation of the page (images, css, script) that are in other directories on the server. Of course, this https is being handled by php code, so perhaps that's why it works smoother.

I've tried to change all links in the includes/head.php file to begin with ../ rather than / but it still IE still throws up 18 security popups before loading the page, and doesn't even display the four organizational logos at the bottom of the page nor the header graphic of the people being digital. Of course, Firefox handles all of this fine, but unfortunately 51% of people worldwide are using IE 6 , so it's our design and usability target.

Incompetent idiots

[freakbarman.livejournal.com]

I could kill...

O.k. I work for a 3rd party tech support company. We do everything IT related. We are warranty providers for HP, Dell, IBM/Lenovo, Apple, etc.. I am currently assigned as the lead technician working on a large health care company's lifecycle roll out. We are replacing around 5000 systems. I get called away from my project today to go out and do a warranty call because they have sent one of our new techs out 3 times and he can't figure out what is wrong. He went out initially to replace system board on a nx9600 laptop. He returned to the office and said the new board was DOA. HP sends out another board and he says it's also DOA. Once again HP sends another one and he states same thing.

I get called out today to go and find out what the hell is going on. I go on site with a new board and open up the system and what do I find? THE F#%$!@* IDIOT LEFT THE PROCESSOR OUT!!!!!!!!!