Turbo Speed...!

[asbrand.livejournal.com]

So...here's another story from the days gone by, back in the early 90's, when I worked in that little computer shop in Kingsport, TN.

We were still selling 486's at this point.  Memory (30 pin!) was still about $50 a *MEG*, and hard drives were barely making it up to 800mb.  We were using DOS 6.2 and Windows for Workgroups 3.11.

Many folks still had a 286 or 386 machine at this time.  This is a story about a 386.

Customer had brought it in, because something had happened and the entire machine had slowed to a crawl.  Even in DOS, it was slower than a 1 legged wingless chicken trying to cross the interstate. 

We were particularly busy at the time (I think it was around Christmas time) so our store owner / manager, a good computer tech himself, decided to work on it.   At the time, I was away from the store doing a new delivery / install.  When I returned 2 hours later, manager was STILL having fits with this computer.   I asked him what he'd tried, and he explained that he had tried formatting the drive and doing a fresh install of DOS;  Swapping out memory; Replacing the CPU.   He'd even hooked up a spare powersupply to see if somehow the voltage was whacked on the original.

All to no avail.   He was stumped.  He was frustrated.  He was visibly perturbed. 

So...I walked over to the machine...looked at it for about 5 seconds...and pressed the turbo button on the front of the case.

Man, those old 386 machines sure do work faster when the turbo button isn't turned on, don't they?    *big evil grin*

/me gives points to people who actually remember those!

(Oh, and at that point, my manager goes stark white, followed by bright red, and storms off muttering to himself...!)

*giggles*  Made my day...



-Az

Damn Work

[martykins-101.livejournal.com]

So work has decided that livejournal is not a safe site to visit anymore. I am looking for a site which is reliable and safe that will allow me to view a website though a website. If anyone knows of a good one that would be great.

(no subject)

[ianhess.livejournal.com]

This got found and circulated at work. It might come in handy as a (blundgeoning) tool for some of you with coworkers.

http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html

New benefit needing to be added...

[billysapphire.livejournal.com]

I have come to the conclusion that my company really needs to add a new benefit to our package...

HEARING AIDS!!!!

I swear, I have never had to support so  many deaf assed people in my life!  It's either they can't hear or I have learned how to speak something other than english when I am thinking I am speaking in english.

Never has the word HUH been uttered in my ear as much as it has been since I started working here.  I know it's not the way I speak because my vendors hear and understand me fine.....

This only makes it harder for me to help then in addition to the normal stupidity that reigns in retail...

Request for Comment: Remote Disconnection Protocol

[photosinensis.livejournal.com]

As we all know, there are a large number of people on the Internet that have no business being here. Sometimes, they’re doing idiotic things like setting up cron scripts to reboot their Linux-based webserver on a daily basis or changing the hostname on their server because it doesn’t match their primary domain. Other times, they’re putting underage gay wizard porn on your computer without your consent. Some are trolls looking to kick up shit and disrupt communications on the Internet. Spammers, too, are a major annoyance. You’ve got your pedophiles, cyberterrorists, script kiddies, Halo assholes, torrent poisoners, and n00bs. Other people are just old farts that think that you “send…an internet” over “a series of tubes” that have somehow gotten themselves elected to the United States Senate. And of course, you’ve got those clueless computer users with a Dell that have allowed their computer to be turned into a botnet zombie. No matter who they are, they are people that should not be connected to the Internet, nor even own a computer.

Something must be done about the menace.

While we cannot keep a fool and his money together (doing so might be a dangerously bad idea), we can ensure that the Internet is a safe haven for those that want to exchange ideas and do business without major interruption, much like in the real world. Therefore, I propose that there be a protocol to remotely disconnect a user from the Internet.

It’s relatively simple to get a Media Access Control address and an Internet Protocol address from a computer with which you are connected. What this protocol does is sets up a daemon on an IP-based network’s routers that monitors which MAC addresses are connected, as well as the IP addresses they have been assigned and when those addresses are matched. Furthermore, this daemon monitors the open network on an unused port to collect information about stupidity complaints from a certain IP address. Once a certain score is reached from an IP address, the router will refuse any connections sent from that IP address as long as the MAC address is the same. Exemptions will be made for cybercafes, data centers, schools, libraries,, and public computer labs, where other users may be needed–though these sites will be required to keep logs of users’ computer use for disconnection purposes.

After this time, the MAC address user will be contacted by his or her ISP and administered a test on basic computer skills. If this person and all others in his or her household pass the test, they will be allowed back on the Internet with a warning. If three such events occur, efforts will be taken to determine the troublesome user and shoot that person. If the person fails, their Internet service will be canceled, their computer confiscated, their credit cards flagged against the purchase of anything more technically advanced than a wheel or box of matches, and a tattoo will be placed upon their heads in the event they try to change their credit card numbers or pay in cash.

These efforts will at least reduce the Internet’s stupid population. We’re still working on a way to choke people over standard TCP/IP.

The Future of Tech Support!

[canray.livejournal.com]

From the same people who brought your "Red Versus Blue": http://magic.roosterteeth.com/archive/episode.php?id=256