I <3 this email!

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

hi there.

 

i just bought your program.  but i think there is a bug in it.  when i installed it, and ran it for the first time, my computer went blank, and the phrase "SHOO SHOO RETARDED FLU" kept playing over and over out of my speakers.  Is this a joke, or is this how your program keeps spam and other things away ?

I wanna tell this guy he bought the Coprolalia Edition of our software.

Hell Customer "Service"

[klytus.livejournal.com]

The other day, I had to call Hell Warranty Support. Simple problem - a laptop under warranty needs to have the fans replaced. Our company pays the extra cash for next-day on-site service for all computers and laptops.

So, when it got to be 2 o'clock, and I had not yet gotten a call from a technician nor dispatch, I pulled up the standard "Thank you for contacting Hell Warranty Support. It was a pleasure working with you in our attempt to resolve the issue you are having with your system." e-mail to call my service rep. Thing is, in his signature line, where he gives his direct-line phone number, the extension is missing a digit, so I can't call him. Now I'm even more annoyed, but I need to get some answers, and the e-mail chain was started. One nice thing about the Hell form-replies is they all end with: "How am I doing? Email my manager Dude's_Manager@hell.com", so his boss was CC'ed on all of this.

( The E-mail Train )

heh ..

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

Customer had been flailing around trying to fix his email client for several hours when he finally gave up and called his ISP, who referred him to us, who referred him to his ISP, etc. for a while. Every single one of his mail account settings had been checked by both us and the ISP, and confirmed down to the last character, but sending and receiving were still hit or miss.

Well, as it so happens, I happen to know a trick for opening a random TCP port on a random server directly, which in this case was his incoming mail server and port 110.

"no address associated with nodename"

Trying the outgoing mail server address and port 25.

"no address associated with nodename"

"Have you been able to open web pages?" "Well, no, actually, that was the *other* thing I wanted you to talk about.."

Getting the IP config of the Ethernet port.

192.168.1.xx, valid looking subnet mask and router, **blank DNS address field** (which in this case defaults to the router). At which point I know his DSL modem has a router in it, that's giving him a private NAT IP, and obviously isn't passing DNS the way it should. Which nobody else along the line has thought to try. And more importantly, the problem is now isolated completely out of my scope, and it's somebody else's problem. :D

Some days it's good to be a geek. (I'd insert an Apocalypse Now reference but I can't think of a geek equivalent to "the smell of napalm in the morning" .. lol)

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE

[mouser.livejournal.com]

[Poll #948255]