Hell Customer "Service"

[klytus.livejournal.com]

The other day, I had to call Hell Warranty Support. Simple problem - a laptop under warranty needs to have the fans replaced. Our company pays the extra cash for next-day on-site service for all computers and laptops.

So, when it got to be 2 o'clock, and I had not yet gotten a call from a technician nor dispatch, I pulled up the standard "Thank you for contacting Hell Warranty Support. It was a pleasure working with you in our attempt to resolve the issue you are having with your system." e-mail to call my service rep. Thing is, in his signature line, where he gives his direct-line phone number, the extension is missing a digit, so I can't call him. Now I'm even more annoyed, but I need to get some answers, and the e-mail chain was started. One nice thing about the Hell form-replies is they all end with: "How am I doing? Email my manager Dude's_Manager@hell.com", so his boss was CC'ed on all of this.



***
Customer Service Rep Dude,

I tried to call you, but the extension you list in your signature is only 6-digits, so I can't get through. This sort of makes giving your phone# to people useless.

I have not yet heard from the Hell Technician who was supposed to call me to be on-site today. It is now 2pm, I have to ship this laptop to the end user no later than 4pm TODAY. I am deeply disappointed by *this* problem as well.

How do we solve this?

Klytus
* * *

His reply:

* * *
Klytus,

I've looked into your case, and the technician did not receive the parts today, but will be receiving them for Monday morning. Your tracking number for the parts is and it can be tracked through [Courier's] website , should you wish to see its progress.

Again, I have been in touch with the dispatcher and the technician will be calling you on Monday morning to setup the appointment.

Thank you for choosing Hell

Respectfully,

Customer Service Rep Dude
Senior Technical Support Agent
Hell Core ACS | Hardware Warranty Support
[something was missing...]
Work Hours 11:30am-8:30pm EST (Mon-Fri)
(Email) Customer_Service_Rep_Dude@hell.com

www. support. hell. com

How am I doing? Email my manager Dude's_Manager@hell.com
* * *

And Dude is a senior tech? If there's one thing that crawls under my skin, lays eggs, then dies, it's when people ask me questions that they would have known the answers to had they actually read what I had just sent them! What Dude did is a close second.

* * *
Customer Service Rep Dude,

Please re-read the original e-mail I sent you. I state, quite clearly, that I am shipping that laptop out TODAY to the end-user. Therefore, there is utterly no point in having a technician call ME.

The end-user will be contacting Hell on Monday when they get the laptop to have the technician come to them.

The fact remains, [Our Company] has next-day service on our laptops: there is NO excuse for the technician NOT calling me to notify me of this delay.

I also notice you have now removed ALL of your call-back information from your signature. I work in a call center. Dealing with irate customers is part of the job. If you can't talk directly to customers not happy with the service they're getting, you are in the wrong line of work.

If this is the level of service we can expect from Hell when we are *paying* for much more, it may be time to take our business elsewhere.

Obviously, we will not be contacting YOU to give us any further assistance in this matter. Your failure to read my original e-mail carefully enough to realize I would not have the laptop on Monday tells me you do not pay attention to your work, and that you have little regard for your clients. My confidence in your competence is zero.

Hopefully, on Monday, the end-user will find a service rep who knows what they are doing so we can get the service we are paying for.

Regards,

Klytus
* * *

This where he saw the hole he was in... and started digging.

* * *

Klytus,

What I can do, is if you can provide the contact information for the customer you are working for, I can save them the time and effort for calling in on Monday and contact the dispatcher myself, and reschedule the appointment for their location.

I do apologize for this inconvience.

Customer Service Rep Dude
Senior Technical Support Agent
Hell Core ACS | Hardware Warranty Support
(Phone) [He actually included it this time - with a valid extension]
Work Hours 11:30am-8:30pm EST (Mon-Fri)
(Email) Customer_Service_Rep_Dude@hell.com

www. support. hell. com

How am I doing? Email my manager Dude's_Manager@hell.com
* * *

This was my answer:

* * *
Customer Service Rep Dude ,

You still seem to have issues with reading things carefully. Please re-read my last e-mail. I felt that I was pretty clear in expressing my intent regarding the subject of getting further aid from you. I was also pretty clear in expressing why I felt that way. This latest e-mail only reinforces my perception of your abilities.

Let me spell it out for you. The problem started when neither a technician nor a dispatcher contacted me today, as they are *obligated to do*, within 24 hours of my service call.

That, I don't hold against you.

What I *do* hold against you was that because you failed to pay proper attention to the e-mail I sent you outlining a problem, you proposed a solution that was perfectly useless. At that point, the issue was no longer about the technician coming out to fix the laptop, but your utter inability to deal with me properly as a customer needing service. And here you are, persistently trying to solve the wrong problem.

You don't escape a hole by digging deeper.

Quit while you're ahead.

We're done.

Klytus

* * *

Thank you for playing. I just had to get this out of my system.

Comments

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Hark! is that the soft sound of brownware downloading into yon Dell technician's pants I hear?

[ihateemo.livejournal.com]

That last e-mail was just you being a gratuitous asshole, IMO. If you have problems with your next-day service contract raise the issue with someone who a) gives a shit and b) can do something about it.

Seriously, you'd think that people in this community would know more than to just hammer on the call centre monkeys about things beyond their control.

[d-l-leonine.livejournal.com]

..that's pretty much what I was thinking r4.

There are times where our vendors are unable to meet SLA due to circumstances beyond their control (parts on order/delayed in transit being the most common). If your contract with them is good enough, your company will receive compensation for SLA violations as ours does. It doesn't do any good to bang on the customer service guys for that.

I'm sorry to say, but IMO you are both in the wrong...

[wyldthyng.livejournal.com]

Thirded. I'm not in tech support but I *am* in a contact centre and there are some things that fuck up for reasons beyond our control. That usually means I feel very badly (but not always, especially with attitude like that) but I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Sounds like, unless one already exists, it's time to add a proviso to that "next-day service" contract. (like there is in our ToU)

[d-l-leonine.livejournal.com]

OMG! I don't know why I thought you were the original poster.

Glad I went back and rechecked the names, I only wish I'd done that first.

[wyldthyng.livejournal.com]

naw I did the same thing, I responded to the person who seconded. sorry :)

[ihateemo.livejournal.com]

your company will receive compensation for SLA violations as ours does

Absolutely. At my old employer, we accounted for SLA fuck ups by vendors and took it to our account rep at the end of each month and got credited accordingly.

1UP for you, good sir!

[ghostdandp.livejournal.com]

iawtc

Seems like poster was taking out all your anger on another tech who probably has very little actual power over what happens, kinda like most of us. Kind of like the customers we deal with all the time. "I want my refund, from you, now!" "But I need to transfer you to billing so they can do that, I can't possibly do that with what I have here" "Obviously you did not understand what I said"

And I hate "Hell" as much as the next guy.

[klytus.livejournal.com]

In my last e-mail, I specified that I was *not* holding the next-day service snafu against him. I also specified that what I *was* holding against him was the fact that even though I told him that I would be shipping the laptop out that day, his solution to the issue was to send a tech out to see me the next business day to fix the laptop.

I was *not* hamemring on a call-centre monkey for something beyond his control: I was hammering on a Senior Technical Support Agent for not paying attention to what I (his customer) was telling him.

[wibbble]

Yup, you're a dick.

This thread could've been posted by your Dell dude as an example of the whiny and obnoxious shit that everyone who does tech support by email gets every day.

I'm not sure why you'd post this here, except that you wanted people to think that you're a prick and just like all the lusers that we deal with every day.

[blossomingfire.livejournal.com]

Sure you get "next day service" with Hell.........if you contact them before 3pm CST, which is their shipping cut off.

Learned that one the hard way I did.

[klytus.livejournal.com]

I called them at 1pm Eastern Time.

[fearrett.livejournal.com]

*Shudders*

I worked for the Hell-on-call desk for 11 months, and I think might even know the tech.

[curmudgn]

Not likely unless he's in Edmonton, and from the look of that .sig block I'd say he's in Ottawa.

[zercool.livejournal.com]

+1. Dick.

Not only do you have the nerve to insult him in the very first email for what could easily have been a simple typo, you have this amazing passive-agressive attitude through it all... "YOU fucked up, how do WE fix it".

I realize, of course, that you have never ever made a typo, forgotten to ship an item, neglected to tell a customer that an order was delayed, or otherwise inconvenienced one of those people who justify your paycheck.

Please, O great and powerful tech Master, teach me, the humble n00b, in Thy Amazing Ways.

Ass.

[klytus.livejournal.com]

::sighs::

Aye. Guilty as charged.

As I mentioned in the post, having people ask me questions they shouldn't need to ask because if they had just read the e-mails I sent them, they would have seen the answers were already there, is one of my pet peeves: its a clear sign that they're not really paying attention to you.

Still... no excuse. I let the stress get the better of me, and I crossed the line.

[spooforbrains.livejournal.com]

Put tail between legs. Learn lesson. Try not to repeat.

I speak as someone who has been in the same position a couple of times. :)