DST SNAFU aka RTFM FFS

[vorro.livejournal.com]

Working for a rather large corporation, we've got quite a few people with dingleberries, and of course they all need to get this damn DST patch that RIM was SO damn prompt in delivering! We sent out an email to pretty much every person with a BB that said something along the lines of "open this link  in your blackberry and follow the instructions."

I get a ticket yesterday saying that the customer is having problems opening the link. I go to the customer's desk and grab their blackberry and have absolutely no problems getting to the link.

Me: "Hm, it loaded up just fine."

Customer: "What?"

Me: "Yeah, it-"

At this point I see the customer's monitor and understand all.

Me: "Yeah uh, you're not supposed to open it in outlook."

Do they sell clue-by-fours on ebay?

Help! I can't login.

[kristink1.livejournal.com]

Well I had a lot of calls for support but my favorite Tech Support call is the following:

User: I can't login to my computer it keeps saying invalid password.
Me: Did you make sure to check your caps lock key to make sure it is on
User: Yes my Caps Lock is on.
Me: What does the username box say?
User: administrator
Me: Type in your username
User: What is my username?
Me: First Initial Last Name.

:)

Thank you, Captain Oblivious!

[phrogg.livejournal.com]

Background: I'm currently the only in-house tech for my office. There used to be two of us, but the other guy got removed from his tech slot and moved elsewhere in the company, for reasons that would be obvious once you realize that he's got a short temper and read the following. Since we're a pretty small office, we don't have any sort of work-order system, despite my pleas. Therefore, problems are typically brought to my attention by someone coming to my office and dragging me away from other problems.

User: Hey, can you help me out? The thing isn't working. (yes, that's actually what he said)
Me: Which thing are you talking about?
User: *being a bit snotty* Well, when i come to you saying it's not working, i'm either talking about this thing or that thing. *points at the computer, then at the printer*
Me: Naturally. Can you be specific?
User: *rolls eyes* I don't know, it's not doing what i want.
Me: (thinking: Of course not. If you're being as detailed with it as you're being with me, i wouldn't do it, either. Figure out what you want to tell me, THEN come and get me so i don't have to play guessing games with you) Speaking: O...kay...what's the problem?
User: Well, when i push the button, the lights come on, but nothing else happens.
(this jackass STILL hasn't told me what the problem device is)
Me: *lightbulb* Could you show me, please?
User: (mutters) fine... *pushes the power button on the computer, lights come on as they should*
Me: *reaches down, turns on the monitor, stuffs hands into pockets, and walks away*
User: *begins talking to nobody about how stupid he is...with me in full agreement*