Dr. Dimwit

[spacebird.livejournal.com]

It's amazing to me how hard it is for some people to accomplish certain things. One of the things our supervisors at work constantly remind us of is that though these people may not be good at computers, chances are they're much better than us at something else. Which is true. In fact, this is how the first system of trade began: the barter system. I fix your car, you fix my computer. I landscape your yard, you pull my wisom tooth. Whatever.

But I wonder, do I really want someone operating on me who doesn't understand the difference between the right and left mouse buttons?

(no subject)

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Heh, had a user call in this morning, asking about status of ticket she'd called in earlier. I looked it up and, due to the fact that I'm temporally challenged (and couldn't conceive of a caller being this impatient), thought the ticket was from the day before. Normally, customers should get a call back from a tech within 4 hours, scheduling visit. After a few minutes with ticket, and coffee kicking in, I figured out that customer had called in ticket 23 minutes earlier. WTF!???

I explained that even high priority tickets have a two hour max response time. She demanded high priority. I explained that she'd have to justify her request in writing and be prepared to pay $125/hr charge for this. She backed down and I noted on ticket that customer's underwear was in a knot in the ticket.

Now, this customer is at our CA shop and their response time out there can actually run to days and I usually try to get hold of someone on the phone to expedite things but before I went to the trouble of bothering someone who'd just got in over there, I looked up the customer in corporate directory. Turns out she was a summer intern. And not even a grad or post doc but a fucking under grad! Geez Louize, this chick was full of herself. Once I found that out, I really annotated ticket about how uptight college chippy was wound. Knowing the tech shop out there, she'll be lucky to see anyone before Monday.

And to finish my week...

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

I never thought I would have all these stories to tell at the end of a week, but I guess I was wrong.

My final call of the night was a 95 year old man. 

Now he could not hear me, and he had to use a magnifying glass to see things on the screen.  I had to repeat myself a couple of times.

After doing some initial stuff, come to find out that we had more than just internet problems. 

I'm cleaning this up for our virgin eyes:

Customer: Well, ever since yesterday, I haven't been able to get to isp.net. My homepage changes to spacezoomer.com. I never asked for that. 

Me: Ok, so were getting our homepage redirected. We may have something on there that may of accidentally been downloaded either by someone, or by a website that is less reputable.

Customer: Hmm, well I'm the only person that surfs this pc. You know, I was trying to surf girlsgonewild.com because I love those college girls I always see on the tv, and it keeps me happy. Ever since the screen turned green when I was on their server, i've been getting porno popups. Not that those are bad or anything, but their not the hottest chicks in the world. By some strange reason my homepage has been changing to AOL.com. Can I sue AOL?*laughs*

Oh, there's another popup. I mean you should see this chicks ***** and ******, their nasty.

Me: Sir, this is not something I need to know. 

Customer: Well, I figure your a young man, you would enjoy these type of popups. 

Me: If we can get back at the issue at hand....

Customer: I think I broke this machine. 

Me: You didn't break it, you just infected it with something bad. Now I'd probably put the blame on the girlsgonewild.com site did it for you, but I'm just making an assumption. 

Customer: I bet it was AOL.

Me: Hard to say, but let me see if I can change your homepage back to isp.net for now, and we'll talk about the spyware later. 

Customer: Yeah, I love *******, ******, and ********, but I don't want to have ******* ****** ******* all over the system. My grandkids surf on this.

Me: Yeah, they won't want to see that type of stuff.

Customer: Damn straight.


You know, I never thought that I would have such a strange week, but it's hard to top that exciting week of crazy idiots calling into my world. I can't wait for next week where I'll have 6 days off. But for now I'll have 2. Time to sit back, and relax for 2 days. 

FREEDOM!