Standard equipment

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

In addition to paperclips, staples and pens, I think every office should come equipped with 1 (one) nine-year-old child, for interpreting such difficult error messages as "You have entered the wrong password" and "You need to load more paper into the printer". It would certainly save a lot of unnecessary calls.

You've got to be kidding me..

[dmsalem00.livejournal.com]

Alright, so I know it's been a while, but a hurricane kinda plowed through our call center, and we had a huge account change. I'm no longer supporting a major computer manufacturer, but a major mobile phone service provider.

Let me tell you. I thought computer end-users were bad...they'll give ANYONE a cellphone. at least 6 calls out of 10 have the end-user actually ON the phone they're calling in a problem on, with a wide range of problems, from static on the line to dropped calls, to not being able to use the sodding camera. And of those 6, at least 4 will LIE and tell you they're NOT currently on the phone. Almost makes it satisfying when you reset their wireless connection and the call drops.

My story for today. The carrier I work for sells several brands of phones, none of which are manufactured by LG. Customer on a prepaid account calls in on an LG 4011, which after some heavy googling, I find to be a phone roughly as old as a Motorola Startac, both of which measure their displays in shades of gray(4-scale!). Getting an "Insert SIM" error, has already replaced SIM card. Quick Quick what should I advise them to do???? Call effing LG, and don't bother me anymore *grumble*.

You can't be THAT Stupid...

[martiandooz.livejournal.com]

So I set up a laptop for one of the higher-ups in Customer Service and drop it off to her this morning. I get back to my desk after making a couple of other stops to find a voicemail on my phone -it's the secretary of the higher-up I set the laptop up for.

Neither she nor the higher-up can figure out how to open the CDROM tray.

That's right, the CDROM tray. On a laptop.

So I call back and explain in my best 3rd grade teacher voice that she needs to push the little blue button on the CDROM door while the laptop is powered on.

"Oh, you mean it has to be powered on?" I hear from the other end of the phone.

"Yes, yes it does..."

BTW - this is not her first laptop that $COMPANY has provided for her.

A is A. A is not B.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

A is A!

( Cut for a little profanity... )