Troubleshooting ESP?

[firewallender.livejournal.com]

Me: "Hi, this is Cassie from CIS, I'm just calling to follow up and see if you were able to log onto your computer successfully."

Them: "Yes, I have. But I have a feeling something else needs to be done to it."

Me: ". . ."

Them: "I don't know what, but I have a feeling."

Geeksquad!

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

You know those geek squad guys...

( Read more... )

I might get flamed for the question, but it's more of a rant against them.

sigh....

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

"yeah, i have a training course and when i put the cd in the drive nothing happens."
(k, cd isn't autorunning. yes, tard problem, but not really ultra tard, kinda run of the mill tard)
"okay, double click on your my computer"
(after a min finds it)
"okay, now what?"
"double click on your cd rom drive."
"okay, nothing shows up. it just says cd-rom drive"
".... oookay, try right clicking on your cd-rom drive and select "open""
"okay, still doesn't show anything."
"you dont see a list of files or folders there?"
"no, nothing."
"hmmmmmmm...."
"this is a dvd disc by the way, does that matter?"
................. well... yes... that would be the problem.... you need a dvd drive to play a dvd"
"the cd drive wont play it?"
"nnnnoooo, the cd drive isn't physically capable of reading a dvd disk"
"do you guys had a converter or something that would get it to run?"
"yeah, a dvd drive."

ciggy time...

Valis

*headdesk* x2

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

A: Asshat Customer
T: Tech


A:I just got a new computer. I'm trying to hookup the modem, but I don't see anywhere where I can put in the usb.

*This doesn't start off well.*

A:Well let's check to see if you have any usb or ethernet devices in device manager.

A:Should I turn it on?

T:Um...Yes.

A: To be honest with you, I've never really used a computer before.

*headdesk*

The system boots up, it's Windows 95.

Wow! Look at this new machine! I can't believe it. I didn't know dinosaurs still existed in this lifetime. You know, that would be like me bringing out my frozen caveman to play with!

After finally getting her to device manager, she doesn't have an ethernet or usb. Oddly enough, she does have a PC Card slot available. Go figure!

Man, I'm really hating my job today more than ever. Anyone know of places in San Diego hiring techs?

*headdesk*

A question..

[byh.livejournal.com]

Is it alright to ask users to manually log errors?
How do you make them do it?

When I asked mine to write down information about errors appearing in one very specific program they were insulted. We should write down errors? No way!! It is damn too hard to look at the taskbar clock and write down time and document id when application crash happens! Not listed in our activity protocol and such. But then I have no idea how else I am supposed to trace that particulary nasty bug because it is rare and floating plus software doesn't bother writing anything in logs.

Of course it is nice to have a betatester crew ready to trace every slightest glitch users notice but it is just not our case.

Complaints

[ihateemo.livejournal.com]

Have you ever had a luser complain about you? Did your manager have your back?

I worked helpdesk for a few months for a major UK bank's software package since I was in need of some quick cash to move to the US, and I had a call from this one woman who was just awful. See, as part of the package we supplied a card reader which connected to the serial port, since this software was used to make payments directly out of customer accounts (and if you're a company, you don't want your computer to be stolen and have some miscreant plug it in and start sending payments to all his buddies). Well, these card readers were absolute pieces of crap. We charged 500 pounds EACH for them, which was daylight robbery considering the fact that the build quality of these things was akin to that of balsa wood. They broke all the time.

So anyway, this woman called in complaining that the card reader was not working. I spent 45 minutes on the phone with this woman who was rude and churlish from the get-go, going through troubleshooting, asking her to go to the back of the machine and make sure it's plugged in properly (she actually refused to do this twice before I got annoyed and said, "We're not going to send you a replacement if you won't verify that the cause of the issue isn't the fact that you haven't plugged it in properly"), but in general I was my usual self - articulate, charming with just a dash of ironic humour.

After I ascertained that the card reader was indeed FUBAR, she flipped out on me and demanded I send one to her right away and have it there by COB (it was already 4pm, so there was no way in hell THAT was happening). I said that we could send it overnight and have it there by 9am in the morning but noooooo, this wasn't good enough. She demanded to complain about the "awful service" we'd given her. I told her in no uncertain terms that we were support for the software and if she wanted to complain, the business manager at her bank would be the person to complain to. She SLAMMED the phone down and I went for a cup of tea and some lunch.

Well, a couple of hours later my manager calls me into his office. Apparently this woman called back saying that I was the rudest person she'd ever spoken to and she was so angry that she was going to close all her accounts with [Major Bank] and that I should be fired. Thankfully, we recorded all our calls (something I am in favour of for this very reason) and he took a listen and he said to me, "You speak to everyone this way. You definitely weren't rude to her."

I said, "I know!", smiled and went back to work. My manager called her back and politely told her to stop being a whiny bitch and to expect a replacement card reader in the morning.

Fin.

*headdesk*

[aphrodeia.livejournal.com]

We worked on a laptop some months ago - the harddrive was toast and needed to be replaced. We ordered a new one, replaced it, and charged her a whopping $50 for labor. (Small town, doncha know.) She didn't want the old drive, so we tossed it. Wouldn't even post anymore.

Today, we got a letter from her.

Dear [company],
I have been informed by someone who has been working on my laptop computer that the original harddrive is still in it but you charged me for a new one. I have the invoice for the harddrive that you ordered. I am thinking about turning you in to the BBB and I would appreciate a refund for the services you didn't perform.

Blah blah blah,
Asshat.

... Right. Because they'd know if it was original. "Oh no! This is Toshiba! Your original was a Toshiba! KILL THEM!"

Fuckers. *trots off to copy the order invoice, with serial number*