Some levity for a Friday.

[rrrebo.livejournal.com]

Things I'd rather do than deal with customers.

Ain't it the truth?

Story arc begins HERE.

When Stupidity Attacks

[klytus.livejournal.com]

What is it today? Did these people sprinkle a few extra spoon-loads of stupid on their corn flakes this morning? We've been getting flooded with calls today, and the lion's share of them are idiocy run rampant. Of the calls I have taken, about 3 or 4 were people asking training-related questions (i.e. "I don't know how to do my job, so I'm calling you to train me!"). Well we only do tech support, so if you need more training read the CD with training materials the company so thoughtfully provided you with. At least six calls were people needing an entirely different service desk. About 2-3 calls were people asking business related questions. "No, sir. I don't know what those reason codes mean... call the Finance office." One luser got a replacement piece of equipment and was supposed to send the old one back using the box and mailing label the new one came in (this is SOP for this company) only she threw it away and wanted to know what to do. Again, not a problem we can fix, so she has to call her local corporate HQ and tell them just how stupid she is so she doesn't get into further trouble for not returning old equipment.

Someone please reboot the Clue Server!

step away from the PC!

[taii.livejournal.com]

OK, this didn't happen to me, but a colleague...

Basically, the user phoned up about a pop-up window that she'd been getting for over a week now, and it was beginning to annoy her. So, she wants someone to get rid of it.
The message?
"Virus detected. Quarantine failed"

*head-desk*

Gotta love IT Teachers...

[jcaswell.livejournal.com]

Earlier today, I recieved this email from one of our more annoying IT teachers...

Jo,
Just a reminder that you promised to re-install a new desktop on her machine.
Regards
Jonathan

Firstly, I did nothing of the sort
Secondly, nothing needs reinstalling. Madhu (the teacher in question) is incapable of finding the correct shortcut to use in her start menu.
Thirdly, Stephen told her this a few days ago. I was there at the time. I know what she needs to do, she knows what she needs to do.
Fourthly, what's it got to do with you anyway?

(no subject)

[nightsinger.livejournal.com]

Dear Stupid Callers,

If you know so much more than I do, why are you calling me? If you're just going to ignore my suggestions for how to troubleshoot an issue, don't bother. If you're going to LIE to me about what's happening or what you've done to fix it, I cannot help you. If you give me a bad attitude, and act like it's MY fault YOU broke your equipment, you can fuck right the fuck off and die.

Thank you.

I'm sure I'll take some crap for this, but...

[mjkauffman.livejournal.com]

Five phone calls in a row today, none of the people on the other end could speak or understand rudimentary English.

Dear users,

Look. We sell software in the English language. It is not available in any other language. The manuals are not available in any other language. The tech support is English-only, unless one of the techs happens to speak a second language and is feeling generous.

If you work for a business where English is NOT the primary language, that's fine, but you damn well better hire someone who can speak it well enough to get tech support, or you've just wasted a shitload of money for software you'll never be able to use correctly. Just ONE bilingual person in your office would work wonders.

Hugs n kisses,

Me