Essence captured

[krrayn.livejournal.com]

After complaining online about having to teach someone how to copy files in Windows Explorer, my friend grasped the essence of such difficulties with supreme elegance:

[Friend] says, "Yowzah. That's like trying to talk someone through using a doorknob."
[Friend] mocks, "'Now clasp it with your fingers, then turn.' 'I can't turn around while I'm holding this thing!'

I'm on a boat in a race right now, so that gives me the right to be a snobby assface

[oh-kevin.livejournal.com]

This is my job every day...

Customer: Hi i have (name of 3rd party software) and your charts aren't veiwable in them.

Me: Ok sir, well unfortunately all i can do is verfiy that your charts have been purchased and are licensed correctly for your computer,
otherwise i'll need to refer you to (name of 3rd party software) for troubleshooting with their software.

Customer: Oh great thanks... ::hangs up on me::

Supervisor: hey what did you just tell that guy, apparantly you said you can't help him and hung up, now he's pissed.




I need a job that doesn't involve tech support to rich sons of people i never heard of, that don't work for a living and like to make everyone else's life hellish just to make up for the fact that their trophy wife is doped up on valium all day, and he has a small penis.

Sorry buddy, life's cruel isn't it? Try working for a living, and then bitch about your fucking GPS charts.

Fuck face.