"wtf?"

[normal1.livejournal.com]

So you see, I'm not crazy this happens every f*ing day! - Then when I start being sarcastic and straight up they start getting a fucking attitude.

Me: "What is the name and address on your account?"
Starfish: "my name and address?"
Me: ".... Yes."
Starfish: "My name and address is ......."
-- By now I've heard the words "name" and "address" 4 times plus he spelled out SMITH!!!!--
Me: "Okay great.. lets go ahead and open outlook express"
Starfish: "Open What?!"
Me: "Let's open outlook express please"
Starfish: "Oh, its open"
Me: "Okay, does it give you any error messages?"
Starfish: "Hmmm no"
Me: "Okay, you said you had a problem sending e-mail?"
Starfish: "Yes"
Me: "Okay, what is the problem?"
Starfish: "I can't send e-mail"
Me: "I understand, but does it give you any indication of a problem?"
Starfish: "No"
--- ended up being able to send and receive emails ---

I hope that when I look back on my youth I will be able to justify those 6 minutes of my life.

Norton is the devil's spawn.

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

I didn't hate Norton before this caller today. I do now.

I hate it with a passion.

*head explodes*

(no subject)

[normal1.livejournal.com]

Okay, if someone elses doubts my troubleshooting steps I swear I will hang up the phone.

Me: "Okay, will you kindly plug the ethernet cable directly into the back of your computer please?"
Starfish: "Okay one moment.."
** One minute later **
Starfish: "Are you sure its supposed to go there?"
Me: *silence* ".... Yes"
** Another minute later **
Starfish: "And that goes into the back of the white thing?"
Me: "Yes, there will only be one place where it can fit"
** Another minute later **
Starfish: "This only fits into the back of the modem!"
Me: *thinks to self* This bitch is stupid.
Me: "Is there someone in the home that can help you find it?"
Starfish: "Look buddy, I pay $18 dollars a month (this is for cable internet mind you) for this service and I can't get online!"
Me: "*silence* - I'm not debating your charges, I'm trying to help you get the cable where its supposed to go"
Starfish: "Done!"
Me: "Okay.. lets go ahead and try the internet - go to www.yahoo.com"
Starfish: "let's see.. three Ws and what else?"

Oh my god.. once we get on the internet she starts asking me how to use the internet. I swear on all that is good and holy this was the worst call to-date, I almost yelled at her hill-billy ass. I swear people should take a test to determine their ability to safely surf the web before getting ANY type of internet service.
** head slammed against desk **

We are NOT the information line!

[katyism.livejournal.com]

I've only been here half an hour, and I've already gotten in my quota of non-tech-support calls.

1.) "Can you tell me what is the mailing address of the library?"
answer: transferred to university operator.
2.) "How much does Out of Town Company X's broadband internet cost?"
answer: call them.
3.) "This is Local Pizza Delivery, I can't get into your building, can someone please let me in?"
answer: my office didn't order pizza, here's the extension of the office that usually orders from you guys
4.) "Hi Katy, it's Co-Worker X, tell the boss I'm gonna be late for my shift again..."
answer: sigh.

The only REAL tech support call I've taken was an old professor who "accidentally" dragged his Win98 taskbar to the side of his screen. Double sigh.

(no subject)

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

Ahhh! 200 calls in que! Work! *outage notification currently running before cx hears the horrid horrid hold music: "Email experiencing latency, yes we know you can't get to it, please fuck off and die"(sorta)*
Call One: Email.
Call 2: email.
Call 3: ... email.
Call 4: "Are you experiencing a problem with the email?"
Call 5: "I'm very important, I want my email!"
Call 6: "Obviously it doesn't apply to me because I WANT MY EMAIL!"
...
Call 45: "EMAIL! NOW! ME! GIVE! FIX!"
...
Call 187: "I'm commiting suicide without my email!!!"
...
Call 666: "I can't get my email and it's very cold down here!"

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!