(no subject)

[jacobine.livejournal.com]

In my email box this morning:

User: No emails are getting in or out, HELP!

Me: This seems to have reached us. Has this issue been resolved?

I just don't get it. Why do people email us when they're having an email problem? Especially one where they can't send email?

Dear GOD why?

[ozdeadmeat.livejournal.com]

People who cant even plug in a damn monitor should NOT be allowed to use a computer OR be allowed to bare children!

May I have a cluebat, pleeze?

[dpaul007.livejournal.com]

I realize that without clueless users calling, I would be serving french fries, so I *try* to be understanding and helpful.

Sometimes it's easier than others.

Guy calls up...just got his sooper-secure router delivered by The Company so he can securely connect to the network from home via high-speed. He can't seem to connect, however.

Cutting to the chase, once I had ed-yoo-cated him on the physical differences between coaxial 75-ohm cable and cat-5 network cable, I discovered the following:

* He had plugged in the coax cable from the wall into his router (!!!) and run a network cable from the router's port 4 to the NIC on his laptop.
* He had then taken another network cable and run it from the WAN port on the router to the NIC on his wife's Dell desktop.
* The cable modem was on the floor, unplugged and being used as a doorstop.

I was barely able to choke back "Sir...your wife's computer is not the internet."

(no subject)

[http://users.livejournal.com/shiara_/]

A little background history to this post.... and an LJ-cut because it's so long...

History: One of my coworkers likes to send me 'pissy' email about how I'm not keeping her in the loop about what projects are being implemented, what ticket fixes are implemented and the like. She feels I'm not 'communicating' with her adequately, so one of her many emails was cc'd all over the place and as a result, I now ensure that of the people that I 'inform' about stuff going into the production environment, she's the top on my list.

Z.A. are her initials, and she's been on vacation for 6 weeks. Since she's been gone, I have continued to email her about project implementations, ticket fixes implemented, and any correspondence that I have sent to the specific MGA so that it could not be said that I haven't kept her in the 'loop'. In these last 6 weeks, I've been covering her desk and mine, and she finally got back today.

One of the projects that I'm working on is a cleanup, where we are going back 3 years and paying what we should have but didn't due to lack of functionality (sound familiar?). Implementation is occuring over weekends and is very slow because the process that is called is 'reverse/reapply'. It's pretty self-explanatory.

For your enjoyment, I now provide you with all of the email correspondence this morning that I received on this particular project, with my little 'vent' at the end. Only the names of the people involved and the policy numbers have been removed, for obvious reasons. All spelling and whatnot remains as originally sent.

X-posted to my journal.

( Read the exchange! )

Because the bottom of this barrel is insufficiently scraped

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

Operator: "I'd like to check the DSL status of the line you're using... what's the number for that?"

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Operator: "The phone number."

Customer: "I don't understand."

Operator: "The phone number. For the line. We are TALKING on."

Customer: "...how would I know?"


There is a bottle of vodka on my shelf that misses me terribly and wants to know when I'm coming home.