...I always thought this was a myth....

[elobscuro.livejournal.com]

...and that it was restricted to AOL...

I got a call yesterday from a woman who owns a PC from The Company Wich Must Not Be Named. Asked for a service tag or express service code. She asks, "Do *coughGateway*coughs have service codes?" The situation being, she purchased a *coughGatewaycough*, didn't like the OS, so decided to use the OS reinstall CD from her TCWMNBN to upgrade to XP. Effed it up to hell and gone. Called Microsoft, Microsft told her to call TCWMNBN. In the words of the immortal Jon Stewart, "Whaaaa?"

Just a quickie...slightly amusing.

[anotheritcrisis.livejournal.com]

Dumbarse: "I tried to reboot my computer and now the screen is blank."
/me walks to desk
Me: "The computer has to be ON to actually see the screen properly. Its relatively new technology, I understand your dumbfuckedness."

Well...true, minus the last part, that was just subconsciously.

Heh...

Another quickie

[anotheritcrisis.livejournal.com]

There are pros and cons in being a member of a smaller organization. We have about 80 users on site and one of me. The problem with being in this situation is that you get called for EVERYTHING..."My this doesn't work, my that's broken...blah blah etc." Aside from that, it really gets my panties in a bunch when the following occurs:

Them: "I can't (random task here) in (Random MS Office Product here)."
Me: "Um....yeah ?"
Them: "Can you come take a look." (Which coincidentally, I would love to say "Yep, I've taken a look and you're fucked.")
Me: "Sure"

I get there and ask them to reproduce the problem...result:
Them: "Oh, I guess its going to work this time. It didn't work the seventeen quintizillion ^ 100 times before."
Me: "Um, ok ? It works now. Kthxbye"

Do I really have some mysterious effect on MS Office products ? Do they cower in fear for the 10-30 seconds it takes me to get to said users desk ? Ahhhhh, the mysteries of life.

(no subject)

[dmsalem00.livejournal.com]

Case log from earlier today.

Customer complaining of slow system performance,
and inability to connect to internet properly.
Cleared MSConfig, found TVMedia, WToolsA,
WebRebates0, ZSearch, Gator DMServer, WinAd, My
Personal Horoscope and others in the list. Many
extra services as well. Closed MSConfig, got an
End Task on iexplorer.exe, then a 0x0A BSOD.
Rebooted system, came up ok. Customer claims to
run "spyware remover" and "nuke spyware."
Suggested Adaware and Spybot, as well as a visit
to housecall.antivirus.com.
Inquired as to where customer obtained the
programs "kill evidence", "nuke spyware,"
"spyware remover," and others like it. Customer
said her husband most likely downloaded the after
seeing a popup ad for them. Advised customer in
the future not to click on such ads anymore, as
these programs were most likely causing much of
the problem instead of alleviating it.

Am I Speaking Greek?

[fuego.livejournal.com]

Me: "ok, I want you to click "no"

Moron: "Ok, so I should click yes then?"

Me: "No. You should click "No"

Moron: "Ok, so you want me to click "No" then?


*Blink*

This was maybe 15 minutes into an hour and 10 minute call.
The guy was arrogant and knew nothing.
Made no attempt to hide the fact that he thought I knew nothing.
The QC guy who was hooked into my line was practically twitching in pain by the end of the call and all he had to do was listen.

And So Goes My Day...

[fuego.livejournal.com]

Me: "What kind of internet connection is this?"

Luser: "The kind that doesn't work."

Me; "Oookay...let's see what we can do about that...Is it cable? DSL? Dialup?"

Luser: "I don't know."

Me: "Is your friend there to ask?" (she was at a friend's house)

Luser: "No"

Me: "Ok...does the connection come through the phone line or the cable TV?"

Luser: "I think it's cable. they can use the phone while they're on the internet."

Me: "Um...ok, can you look at the modem for me?"

Luser: "Yeah, I guess so. Where's the modem?"

Me: "I don't know where they would have it, I would check near the cable box."

Luser: "Oh, here it is. Yeah, it says cable modem."

Me: "Ok great. Do you have an ethernet cable?"

Luser: "No, but I have one at home. How much do they cost?"

Me: "A couple of dolars for a shorter one, more for a longer one. Is there a cable plugged into the modem?"

Luser: "No"

Me: "But the desktop computer in the house connects?"

Luser: "Yes"

Me: "Ok, tell me if there's a hole in the modem that looks like an overszed phone jack?"

Luser: "Yeah...there it is but there's a cord plugged into it. It goes to the desktop computer."


(Brilliant. Later, I told her to pull the end that connects to the desktop out and plug it into the laptop. She took it from the modem and plugged that end into the laptop. Sigh.)

Recovery on the horizon.

[coyoteden.livejournal.com]

You know it's pretty bad when you're taking your work home with you. Right now there's a slow, ugly, noisy little basket case under my desk that needs an XP reinstall. There was no time on site and there will be no time in the shop tomorrow, so guess who gets to babysit it all evening?

But not for too much longer. In a week and a half I leave the tech support field to become a network security analyst for JASI. It's a great position and it's night shift, so all the lusers are asleep. I'll still lurk around here tho.