Quote of the week from our fearless leader ...

[kalidor.livejournal.com]

So, we can't cluster with a single machine?

hmmm...

[taleya.livejournal.com]

I wonder if it's worth the shit I would cop for modifying the RT thusly:


"Welcome to XYZ internet, Your call is currently being transferred. Please be advised that our technical support department is located on the third floor, and our staff are trained in the use of sniper rifles..."

WHY!?

[setekh-chaos.livejournal.com]

Me: Thank you for calling My damn company!
Cust: Yeah, I need you to help me get my icon back to show that I am connected.
Me: No problem.
(I took him into network connections and had him check the box. System told him to restart. Had him restart)
Cust: Nothing is happing now when I click on my shortcut to connect. Oh, I see I have two shortcuts.
Me: Well maybe it's a bad short cut, no problem lets just delete them and create a new one.
(While I am telling him this he goes click crazy! Next thing I know he has two connectoids open, IE, Outlook, and about 10 icons in his sys tray.)
Cust: Nothing is happing, when I move my cursor into the window it disappears.
Me: Well it sounds like your system is trying to catch up and open everything. Let's just give it a minute.
(Mean while he is trying to close everything.)
Cust: It's locked up.
Me: OK, lets just reboot it. When it comes up let's delete the shortcut and create a new one.
Cust: OK.
(The whole time it's rebooting he is saying "Well it was working fine before I called you. Then once we checked that box all this happened.)

Oh really, it's that little check box! F*&@ that! You don't think it might be the fact that you clicked on 10 things before you sys tray load all that crap you have it there?

What I really said: Hmm that's odd.

Anyway upon reboot:
Me: OK. Let's delete those two short cuts.
Cust: I only have one.
Me: You said you had two before we rebooted.
Cust: No.
Me: Ok.... Well, let's Right Click on and delete the one you do have.
Cust: OK, done.
Me: OK, let's go to Network connections.
Cust: OK. Nothing is happing.
Me: Well let's give it a second.
Cust: Let me try again. Nope. Well, maybe if I right click and open. nope.
Me: ............................................
Cust: Oh, now I have three. But they are all empty.
Me: What!? You have to have at least one icon, it's there by default.
Cust: nope, it's empty.

(By now I am trying to slit my wrist with a plastic knife)

Me: Well sounds like you have some serious issues. You need to take that to a local tech.

(He then started in with the whole "It was fine before I called you and you made those changes." We went around and around for awhile. Then he had the audacity to say:

"Well, I guess YOU can't help me." click

(no subject)

[chaoslore.livejournal.com]

Me: Okay, go ahead and click on "I forgot my password" and read to me the hint.
EU: It says the hint is my name.
Me: Okay, go ahead and enter that.
EU: What should I put in there?

(no subject)

[vtladyhawke.livejournal.com]

OK...I'm not a techie, but my man is, and he received a call from his boss earlier today. Apparently his boss wants him to install Business Portal on a machine for a demo on Wedenesday. The poor guy was trying not to laugh in his boss' ear, as Business Portal apparently takes about a month to install properly. I could be wrong, but if I'm right...oh man. I just figured I'd share this little gem with y'all since I can't help but sympathize with the level of idiocy you have to deal with on a daily basis....

Sigh...

[omicron32.livejournal.com]

( Helping friends... )