Bleh...

[coyoteden.livejournal.com]

I just had one of our Docs practically bust down my broom closet office door (NO!) carrying hard copy of a Pop-up page he got on his machine at home (NO! #2) warning him that "Your PC is infected with spyware! Here's your IP, Browser and OS as proof!"

He's panicking. Muchly. (NO! #3)

He has a Mac.

Gah.

ObFunny: Speaking of things that are in no way P.C., here's something to consider: Do computers have gender, and are they female like automobiles are traditionally thought to be? Well, as far as I can tell, any PC running Windows will bloat, get cramps a few days a month, and blow up when something goes wrong.
Disclaimer: I didn't write that. Not really my opinion, though I think we all agree Windows can be a bitch.

ObSpyware: At my other job my most frequent fix these days for every sort of system buggery is running Spybot S&D. Sad, just sad, because 1) Spyware has gone way too far and 2) I always tell the lusers how to download and run Spybot, and when they can't even get THAT right, I go out and charge $55-$75 to do it for them.

Bitchslap-over-voice

[lordstorm.livejournal.com]

Quite a few people from my team, rather bored and frustrated from the amount of stupidity from our customers one evening, hit upon a new Internet standard: bitchslap-over-voice protocol (BoVP).

Imagine: a clueless customer who can't understand what you're trying to tell them, you could just hit a button on your console or your telephone, and a virtual hand will rise out of the telephone and give them an encouraging slap to the face!

Example:
Me: "Is your Start Menu one or two columns wide?"
Them: "Er, two."
Me: "Okay, so halfway down the second column, you see Connect to......."
Them: "I can't find it, it's not there."
Me: "Keep looking, it should be there."
Them: *annoyed* "It's not there, okay?"
Me: "Read out the icons for me please?"
Them: *more annoyed* "My Documents, My Recent Documents, My Music, My Computer, My Network Places, Control Panel, Connect to.....oh."
Me: *mutter* "BoVP"

I wonder if the RFC board would consider it? :)