delta_mike: (Default)
[personal profile] delta_mike posting in [community profile] techrecovery
(Previously. Recap: University sysadmin.)
  • Install signs of any description next to the building's motorized rotating doors.
  • ... Especially labels that read, "It is perfectly safe to walk through this device."
  • ... Especially when the label can only be read after stepping inside.
  • Grief the undergraduates on the Minecraft server they're running on one of the Departmental interactive shell machines.
  • Maintain a list of things that ${BOSS_SYSADMIN} is not allowed to do at work.
  • Violate Eschaton Clause Three.
  • Make clear that when I'm talking about simple alternatives to manipulating git history, that I'm referring to the revision control tools of that name, rather than the Helpdesk manager.
  • "I am altering your disk quota. Pray I do not alter it any further."
  • Answer queries of the form "What am I doing wrong?" with the response, "Would you like an enumerated list?"
  • I shall not refer to the handcrank used for locking / unlocking room partitions as the Education Stick.
  • Zero /etc/passwd on a clueless user's computer so that they can't log in -- causing the console to print "You don't exist. Go away." when they try to reboot via CTRL-ALT-DEL...
  • Unload a CO2 fire-extinguisher on people standing next to a 'No Smoking' sign while puffing on a cigarette.
  • Use the Justice Field episode of Red Dwarf as a model for how best to educate / punish users that try to do evil things. Such as wipe another user's home directory..
  • Configure my workstation to run interesting screensavers with a short time-out, as they may have the effect of diverting the attention of senior members of the department when they stop by my desk to talk to me.
  • ... or get them to sign-off on pay-rises or changes in effective responsibility while they're cognitively distracted.
  • ... Also, stop trying to take over Security operations. We said 'no'.
(Continued!)

Date: 2011-07-01 11:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trayce.livejournal.com
You know what I love about this comm? I'm on both this, and customers_suck, the latter of which no one is apparently allowed to pwn customers on (zorroing as they call it).

Fuk that crap. I will <3 this comm til the day I die for its honest, open bullshit-calling-detector algoritm! \o/

Date: 2011-07-01 02:49 pm (UTC)
jecook: (Default)
From: [personal profile] jecook
THIS. Oh, so very much THIS.

One of our level 1 support drones, at the last department meeting which had the CFO as a guest speaker, pulled a 'ONTD'* moment which had pretty much the entire IT management*** alternating between laughing their asses off, or wanting to duct tape the schmuck's mouth shut.

* 'Oh no they didn't!'**
** ... which was talking about things like adding the support group to the tip pool, some limited discussions about how much money they are getting compared to others****, amongst other tomfoolery.
*** along with the rest of us in the network and apps groups.
**** dunno about some places of work, but discussing how much one's salary is with co-workers is forbidden by our company policy, if not good taste.

Date: 2011-07-02 01:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trayce.livejournal.com
Ah perhaps I wasn't clear - I meant, on the LJ comm itself, not in one's actual job. Certainly, acting professionally at work is always #1 priority :)

Date: 2011-07-01 12:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cai1987.livejournal.com
Use the Justice Field episode of Red Dwarf as a model for how best to educate / punish users that try to do evil things. Such as wipe another user's home directory..

Why not? That's just...gah!

Date: 2011-07-01 12:30 pm (UTC)
ext_74: Baron Samadai in cat form (Default)
From: [identity profile] siliconshaman.livejournal.com
I must try that screensaver trick...

Note to self, must add another item to my list of things not to do: stop using lists like this as a source of inspiration.

Date: 2011-07-01 12:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kizayaen.livejournal.com
Odd, that's precisely the screensaver I habitually install on my machines...

Date: 2011-07-01 01:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dave-iii.livejournal.com
I miss my After Dark 4.0 Flying Toasters screen saver. There is a home brew one that works on Win7 but it's not the same.


♪♫...Flying out of the sun, the smell of toast is in the air...
When there's a job to be done, the Flying Toasters will be there!...♪♫

Date: 2011-07-01 02:50 pm (UTC)
jecook: (Default)
From: [personal profile] jecook
Yes. The After dark screensavers were just plain awesome.

Date: 2011-07-01 04:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] taeraresh.livejournal.com
...and it's flap! flap! flap! Now help is on the way. This victory song they sing! We pop up to save the day, on Mighty Toast-er Wings!

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