Phone support habits I hate

[lordstorm.livejournal.com]

It's strange, but most customers usually hear what they want to hear. The following is a list of situations that really annoy me, yet to my surprise insist on happening, customer after customer - and to think all could be avoided had the customer actually listened to me.....

Me: "Can I have your phone number with area code please?"
Them: "Nine five six two -"
Me: *wince* "With area code please."
Them: "Er....three one six three."
Me: *pause* "That's a postcode, not an area code. I don't think you're sending a letter."
Them: "Er, so what's the area code for Melbourne again?"
Me: *sigh* "That would be zero three."

Me: "Can I have your username please?"
Them: "Joe Bloggs."
Me: *no match* "Is that double-gee?"
Them: "It has a space in it."
Me: *bang head* "Is that your name?"
Them: "Well, yeah." Duh!
Me: *sigh* "What's your username?"
Them: "Username?" Parlez anglais?
Me: "The first half of your email address."
Them: "Oh! Er, joebloggsl33th4x0r@hotmail.com."
Me: "That's not one of our email addresses!"
Them: "Well it's the one I use!"
Me: *argh!* "Fine. Let's use your surname instead...."

Me: "What version of Windows do you use?"
Them: "Windows Professional."
Me: "Windows 2000 Professional or XP Professional?"
Them: "Er, Windows Professional!"
Me: *sigh* "Okay then, what colour is the Start button?"
Them: "Green."
Me: "Ah. That's Windows XP Professional."
Them: "That's what I said, Windows Professional!"

And when doing incoming Accounts calls on Helpdesk.....a simple statement, but it's amazing the amount of times someone actually begins their convo like this:

Me: "ISP Accounts, this is LordStorm."
Them: "Er, hi. I have an account with you....."

Really? No shit! Never would have guessed that! *slaps forehead*

Comments

[ex-prunesnp.livejournal.com]

What else do you want them to say, though? Just sit there and breathe heavy for a while comes to mind. ;)

It's like "May I take your order." You can't really get away from it.

[lordstorm.livejournal.com]

You know, I've had that happen before. *spooked look*

[daerlyn.livejournal.com]

Them: "Er, hi. I have an account with you....."

Well, I'd certainly hope so, otherwise I think you've got the wrong number, sweetheart. :P

I used to have to deal with the username thing all the time. A classic was "What is your email address?"

"123 Sunset Crescent . . . "

[methedras.livejournal.com]

Hahaha cue old man...

"Welcome to technical support, Casey speaking, how can I help you?"

"Ahhh yes, yes yes. You guys busy there are you?" [after 40 mins wait]

"Yes."

"Ahh very well then, now see I've had an internet connection with you since 1998 and the service has always been brilliant. I've even recommended you to all my friends. Now lets see, it was working fine all this year and last night I sent an email. And it was all working ok. Now today I tried to send an email and it isn't working. So I tried sending it over and over and it didn't work. Then there was a phone call I had to answer and I wasn't sure whether the email went through, so I tried it again and again and again...."

"Ahem, excuse me sir what seems to be the actual problem though?"

"I'm getting a password error but blah blah blah blah blah..."

[lordstorm.livejournal.com]

True, it's sorta a natural thing to say, but when you hear it day after day, it gets to the point I'm fighting myself not to scream out "Thankyou for stating the obvious!" *grin*

[rettiger.livejournal.com]

My personal favorite (happens EVERY day):

Me: "What version of windows do you have?"
Them: "2000 ME"
Me: "Is it 2000, or ME?"
Them: *sound of silence* "ME."
Me: "That's what I thought."

It's gotten to the point that if they say 2000 I automatically assume WinME unless I think the person has a clue of what they are talking about.

[linguafranca.livejournal.com]

I get people telling me they have "Windows 2000 XP."


Tangent: Ever notice that XP is also an emoticon?

[lordstorm.livejournal.com]

Heh, I get the same thing.....and even assume the same thing. :)

Yay for winver is all I'll say.

Them: *proudly* "Yes, I'm running Windows 97!"
Me: *bangs head on desk* "Is that Windows or Office?"

[methedras.livejournal.com]

Hahaha.

"I just bought a new computer and need to set it up."
"Ok sure, what version of Windows are you running?"
"Windows 98."
"On a new computer?"
"Yes."
"Is your start button big and green?"
"Yes"
"Then you're running Windows XP, let's move on..."


You'd think they'd know what the fuck they are purchasing.

For eg.

"Hi honey, I'm home, I just bought a new Porsche!"
"Honey I don't think that's a Porsche."
"Yes it is, look!"
"No dear, that's a silky terrier."

[lordstorm.livejournal.com]

I actually got someone connected on Windows 3.11 not so long ago.

Me: "You don't happen to have a copy of Trumpet Winsock floating around, do you?"
Them: "Yeah, first thing I installed after the 32-bit TCP/IP stack."
Me: "I love you!"

[v3nu5.livejournal.com]

Stupid humans.
*shakes fist* Tell them to OBEY THE FIST!

Ima rant one day on here. Maybe today *ponder*