Feature creep

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

Tech: "Hi, your fault form said you were having trouble with the CHA. I'm not sure I recognise the system, so I thought I'd come down to take a look."
User: "Oh good. Here it is."
Tech: "...that?"
User: "Yeah."
Tech: "That's a chair."
User: "It's broken."
Tech: "I don't think I can help you there."
User: "But it's broken."
Tech: "What would you like me to do? Check it for viruses?"
User: "I'm just doing what the supervisor told me to."
Tech: "Sorry, but I'm not a carpenter. Give Asset Services a call."
User: "Okay. Hey, before you go, could you take a look at our photocopier?"
Tech: "..."

Comments

[ozdeadmeat.livejournal.com]

its cloudy outside, can you fix that aswell...

what a fuckin tard.

[wyldthyng.livejournal.com]

ahahahhhahaha.... teh win.

~shakes head~

[zzyzx.livejournal.com]

Yes, but can it run Linux?

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Another user, hoping to see a tech pull a magic wand out of his ass. What's with the users? We had a call, 10 minutes to 6pm yesterday (help desk shuts down the phones at 6), upset that some other companie's web app was returning SQL errors. Their help line shuts down at 5 pm so he called us. WTF?!!! Seriously!

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

They used to call us for toilet paper and light bulbs.

Have you tried calling facilities?

Well, no. YOU are tech support!

[fixerkitty.livejournal.com]

"Can you check the chair for viruses?"

I'd hand the guy a pack of bleach wipes and leave the room.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

"What, you mean I'm supposed to do my OWN scan?!"

[jecook]

Heh.

I used to be a ticket dispatcher for a large aerospace firm out here in Hell. (Yes, hell has aircraft. It's actually a good devlopment enviroment: lots of space, reasonable and mostly predictable climate, etc.) What I did was take the tickets that our national help desk created, and sent them off to the proper department, or made phone calls depending on severity.

Some of the sneakier lusers managed to open a severity 1 (highest priority) ticket for... Ants in the building. I am not making this shit up, I have a paper copy of this ticket in my archive.

We were more then a little annoyed, so we called in out own sev. 1 ticket under the name of Homer Simpson asking for doughnuts to be delivered to his desk. :)

The whole group got yelled at, but the help desk did change it's procedures areound a bit to use a bit more common sense...

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Sounds like Lockheed.

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

Nah - from what I've heard, that would have required a senior union employee to get up from his hourly nap and make a call....

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Possibly although in all my years there the only union people I dealt with were the people who put the planes together, not people who did tech support.