anger management

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

How do you guys deal with a barrage of stupidity? Sure, morons call, but sometimes there's a relentless wave that doesn't give you time to breathe as it sucks you under.  How do you all cope? Do you throw things? Have voodoo dolls? Listen to loud music. Run around the room screaming?

I am experiencing such a day thanks to faulty updates and false positives. So, I have adopted a mental exercise I call "Douche Bag Airlines". I have this mental jumbo jetliner and board all my douche bag customers and then I crash the jet into the side of a mountain in a firery explosion visable from space.

Comments

[pisceandreamer.livejournal.com]

I used to throw things and make very innapropriate comments about my clients to my coworkers via IM in an attempt to see if I couldn't get someone to shoot coffee out their nose.

[vulpine137.livejournal.com]

Blood sacrifices to a god of questionable virtue. I recommend Cthulhu (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cthulhu) or Tsathoggua (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsathoggua) for your bloodletting pleasure ;)

[kestrelct.livejournal.com]

Somehow, I knew before I moused over those links that they'd be to wikipedia. Gods I love the company of other nerds, I understand them so well.

[vulpine137.livejournal.com]

Wikimedia is probably my favorite generic info search. I spend lots of time just rambling though links to find new things I didn't know.

[kestrelct.livejournal.com]

I love doing that. It's always so much more interesting than, say, sitting in a class on the subject.

[vulpine137.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and cheaper too ;)

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

Cthulhu, no doubt. Thoggy's too laid-back.

[vulpine137.livejournal.com]

He's just not a morning deity ;)

[nirvanaqween.livejournal.com]

I put them on mute and yell obscenities.
& At my job we dont have to be proper in our notes really.
so when they are rude or fucking retarded we note it.

[duality.livejournal.com]

i just have to wait until i get home, then spend the next few hours destressing with some good old PvP in Guild Wars.

[valancy17.livejournal.com]

I keep a stuffed "Stitch" doll on my desk (ya know, Disney, "Lilo & Stitch") because Stitch is supposed to be indestructible (the character, not the doll). And I just choke the shit out of that thing when I'm dealing with those ultra-morons. Then I put him on his head so he's shaking his ass at the world. Makes me feel better, anyway. Also something that helps me, because I have such bad coordination - trying to bounce a koosh or one of those "squeeze me so you don't get carpal tunnel" balls on the palm of my hand. Inevitably it falls and I try a few times, but it gets my mind off the asshats.

[bassgirl.livejournal.com]

I had a colouring book.

And crayons that smell pretty when you colour with them.

Seriously, when Mrs Headupmyass calls, demanding impossible services to be done to her yesterday, I'd just colour the three pigs building houses to escape the wolf, and wait until she ran out of steam (ok, slowed down slightly or paused for breath) and then I'd start. It really really helped me ignore the asshats when I had to get the shading of Little Red Riding Hood's cape just right.

Well, that vigorously giving the phone the finger and other obscene gestures, and strategic use of the mute and hold buttons.

[bassgirl.livejournal.com]

My team lead thought I was insane, until she realized that I was much, MUCH calmer. And then half my team decided to take up crocheting. I'm not really into crocheting pretty scarves (boooooring giant rectangles!) so I made a skull (http://www.supernaturale.com/articles.html?id=85) instead. Which really got me labeled as crazy.

Still, when I left to the internal tech services department the next week, she was pretty excited when I gave her the skull.

[snarl817.livejournal.com]

I make judicious use of the mute button and speak obscenities at the customer that they'll never hear. I have quite a reputation around the office for it, too.

[tjernobyl.livejournal.com]

Alcohol is helpful, though frowned upon 362 days of the year.

[megpie71.livejournal.com]

My trick is what I call the RantJournal. It's a text file, and I use it to write down the snarky comments I'd long to say out loud to the customers. A nice place to say what I really think.

The other one is getting home, and pulling out an Angband variant, so that I can beat up stuff endlessly until I've recovered some semblance of tranquility and inner peace.

My current job doesn't come with a mute button, which I truly and deeply regret, since it was a godsend in the last one.

[sjgross.livejournal.com]

Sometimes if calls are _really_ frustrating, I take a few minutes and walk outside, take a few deep breaths, and then come back in, calmer and ready to deal.

The occasional piece of chocolate helps too.

[axl12.livejournal.com]

Dude, thanks for the idea, nice one!

Man I had such an anger today I don't know what to do!
Morons after morons called today.