cookin' by the book

[geeklovepoetry.livejournal.com]

DO NOT CALL TECH SUPPORT IF YOU...



A) Are driving.

(Me: Thank you for calling the IT Helpdesk, this is Autumn speaking. May I have your name, please? *hears myself on cellphone speakerphone echo*
Caller: Actually, I need to cancel this call, I just got to work. Sorry. Bye. *hangs up*)



B) Are not at your computer.

(Me: *spiel*
Caller: Hey, I can't login to my email.
Me: What happens?
Caller: I get an error message.
Me: What does the error message say, specifically?
Caller: Uh... error..?
Me: ..could you try to log in and dictate it to me?
Caller: Actually, I'm at the food court right now.)

OR:

Me: *spiel*
Caller: My password is wrong, can you reset me?
Me: .. right. Let's go to the 'accounts' page. *gives the URL*
Caller: *repeats the URL very, very slowly to someone who is sitting at the computer* *does this for the rest of the conversation*
Me: *shoots myself in the head and makes MEAN GESTURES at the phone for the rest of the conversation*)



C) Are the parent of the child experiencing the problem.

(Me: *spiel*
Caller: Yeah, my son can't log onto the internet. *babbles about his problems and how he thinks it's the network card*
Me: Um, sir, could I speak to your son?
Caller: Actually, he's in his dorm.
Me: ..and where are you?
Caller: Oh, at home, a few hours away.)


RANDOM ADDITION:

So one professor couldn't get his internet to work. Tech support was like, fine, is it plugged firmly into the computer and into the port? Professor confirmed. Support walked across campus, up stairs, and into professor's room, and saw that, yes, the ethernet cable was plugged firmly into the computer, and into the splitter, which had fallen out of the jack and was on the floor.

Well, the professor wasn't lying. It was plugged in.

Comments

[altorogue.livejournal.com]

I've had to deal with parents like C before. Isn't college supposed to be the beginnings of adulthood? Isn't it a little sad that your kid can't make a simple phone call himelf?

[geeklovepoetry.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know. It's also kind of pathetic, considering I'm not even a legal adult yet (my eighteenth birthday is on the twenty-seventh of this month) and I've got all these adults like "HELP ME AND MY KID!!1one."

[shipou.livejournal.com]

Wow...That sounds a lot like something my dad would do. Actually, my dad would just assume I did something stupid and that's why it won't work. You know, like I forgot to plug the computer into teh wall or what ever.

[geeklovepoetry.livejournal.com]

You'd be surprised at how many times "my internet is broken" is fixed by the question "is the cable plugged into the wall?"

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

"DON'T GET TECHNICAL WITH ME! YOU COME OUT HERE AND FIX IT!"

[davenh.livejournal.com]

Good grief, do you work at my place, or are you just reading my mind right now? .....ye gods. From B, I especially love the ones that get pissed off at me, "can't you just help me?" Or get this, I actually had someone tell me recently "I cannot be on the phone and by the computer at the same time." Sounded like they were on a cell phone in a bathroom or something.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

I love helicopter parents, when I worked at college. I'd always force them to have their kid contact IT and deal directly with us. My little bit of helping them grow up.

Had one parent fly down from some northeast city ("Basten") to pick up her little darling's computer and bring it in to us. She was upset we hadn't fixed it. Kid had never called in or let us know it was broken. Damn out faulty TP helmets!

[crazdgamer.livejournal.com]

C sounds like the retarded cousin of B.

Speaking of B, would it have been out of order for you to ask to speak directly to the person operating the computer? Or ask the caller to execute your instructions directly?

[geeklovepoetry.livejournal.com]

I had that call my second day working helpdesk. xD I was afraid to ask ANYTHING of the caller in fear of getting fired. :D

..of course, I've gotten over that now.