users who think they're funny...

[alysania.livejournal.com]

...and really aren't.

I've been running around like a madwoman hunting computers from a list that holds just the machine name and a rather vague location for the machine (90% of the time, it's wrong). These machines are getting an extra stick of 128mb ram. Pathetic. Anyway, I go around the building and ask people for their machine name and then if they're on the list, ask them to shut down so that I can take a half a minute to pop in the new stick. Here's how it's gone:

User: My machine name? FRED! TEEHEE!
Me: *GLARE* that wasn't funny the first thirty times I heard it, and you're no exception. No, your computer name.. there, click on my computer once.. no, not double click.. JUST LET ME.. okay there.

User: Shut down? You mean log off?
Me: No, Shut down.
User: Oh, reboot..
Me: NO. SHUT DOWN!!!

And it's not just that this happened once or twice.. I'd say 35 out of the 45 machines I've done have been the same way.. for two days. Shoot me now?

Comments

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, all the time. "What's your computername?" "TROUBLE! HAHAHAHA!"

Ugh.

[manuka.livejournal.com]

This is why we assign computer names based on asset tags. Besides, our users haven't got a farking clue what it's called.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

We did, too. It also said COMPUTERNAME: XXXXXX or whatever on the start menu. Didn't help a bit.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

[iterative-steps.livejournal.com]

i wonder if i should put that on my other shoulder across from my ring script. why did that man have to write that book(s)

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

Me: Computer name?
Them: WOPR. Heh heh. Remember that movie with Matthew...
Me: hardy har.
Them: WOPR was the name of the super computer...
Me: YEAH I KNOW. *dies a little inside*

[alysania.livejournal.com]

I yoinked it from getty images..
Image # dv497018

The company "Digital Vision" has x-ray images of damn near everything.. someone, somewhere, is glowing in the dark as a result :-P

[fragbert.livejournal.com]

User: Shut down? You mean log off?
Me: No, Shut down.
User: Oh, reboot..
Me: NO. SHUT DOWN!!!

I blame Microsoft. They're the geniuses that put the shutdown command behind the word START.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

I've had more success just saying "No." in Tones Of Death and stopping, than with saying "No," and repeating myself. It seems the first one actually makes them have to stop what they're fiddling with, pay attention, and ask me. The second one, while seemingly more helpful, just leads to them mishearing it again and again and again and by the time you've repeated it for the fourth time running you just want to kill them and they're STILL NOT LISTENING.

The tone is apparently semi-important, too. Saying "No." in a cheerful perky tone will have half the users respond as if you had said "Yes."

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Tech 'em a little.

"Workstation hostname, please."

"Huh?" <DUMMY MODE ON>

"Hold down the Windows key, press the Pause key at the top right of the keyboard, click 'Computer name' and read it off to me."

[manuka.livejournal.com]

Ooo, neat. I didn't know about that little trick. I tried it on Vista here, what does it pop up on XP?

My users have a hell of a time finding PrintScreen though.