voodoo

[fiannnachruinne.livejournal.com]

Dear core support tech:

Please stop sending customers to us to recover their data off a failed hard drive. I realize that we are a more advanced support queue and many of our customers think we are magic. However much that may be true, I'm afraid that voodoo simply doesn't work over the phone very well. Most users don't have any live chickens for us to sacrifice. Please note that future attempts to send said customers to us will result in curses and voodoo dolls of yourself being created that will be fed to the Great Cthulhu.

Comments

[fiannnachruinne.livejournal.com]

Nah, that's just the Keebler Elves. They sneak out of your Keebler boxes and go out joyriding in your car in the middle of the night. They're the ones that change the stations.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Their fault for not backing up!

[kestrelct.livejournal.com]

We had one user come in with a bag of gummy worms that he insisted helped the process. We wound up draping them on the laptop and it did seem to make it easier... I always encourage users to leave sacrifices to the Computing Gods in the form of food for their priests.

[jecook]

+1.

gifts of booze and geek toys work too. :)

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

You don't know how much Guiness I've gone home with....

Guiness

[10binary-cats.livejournal.com]

inside or outside your body?

Re: Guiness

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

Lets just say that I "assisted with the difficult and tumultous transition" between full and empty...

:-)

Walking back across campus with bags of beer was always fun. The days I had to stack it up in my cube before moving it to the truck... some amusing looks were cast.

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

when I processed expense reports, the smarter ones who say nearby would tape candy to their's so I would key them in first so they could get reimbursed quicker. It was funny to receive interoffice envelopes only to dump out lot of candy and an expense report.

[kestrelct.livejournal.com]

That would totally work on me. Hell, I'd probably put it in my email sig..."bribes of candy are encouraged, and will in fact bump you up the line".