techrecovery | (no subject)

I've just joined this community, on the recommendation of

jrho (cheers!). This entry is crossposted because basically? Same thing all over again today.

So today was my 6 month anniversary in my job.
(Takes a moment to wonder how the hell I managed that. Not that it was hard, I love my job, but I've the attention span of a heroin addicted guppy. I'm amazed I haven't emigrated to Tobago yet. Although end of next year, watch out Canada :)

It's a good thing it was today, 'cos...nnngarrgh.

"Stop using big words when you don't know what they mean." "Stop cutting and pasting from forums and telling me it's an engineers report." "If you have to use the dictionary, stop reading."

Because I'm telling you right now, no stupid, jumped up excuse for a "computer expert" is going to sit there and scream the results of a speed test at me, flinging terms like "noise margin" and "line attenuation" about and expecting me to get on my knees and open wide.

And you know what? Some of those terms..I don't know what they mean. Honestly. I'm first level technical support, not a qualified telecoms engineer. I know a hell of a lot more than I did, because Wikipedia is my friend, and I am Googles bitch. But if I genuinely don't know whats going on, it's off to Faults with you, because guess what? They. Do.

And guess what else? I know my companys settings. Inside out and upside down. I know what indicates a big fucking problem, and whats basically the digital equivalent of a fart. So again, don't sit there and demand to speak to an "expert" because omgwtfbbq, your router isn't signing on. And don't you DARE tell me that I must be mistaken when I tell you that inputting your own IP/DNS settings is going to get you nowhere in one big hurry. Because when I ask you to tell me the difference between dynamic and static IP's and you can't all you're going to be is horribly humiliated and all I'm going to do is snicker. Audibly.

You know what I like? I like people who haven't a fucking clue and admit it. "I know nothing, I am yours to command" is what I got one day and I could have hugged him. Because they know the value of "Sit down, shut up, and do what you're told."
I don't mind stupid questions. I really don't. I will happily sit there and explain the difference between RJ11 and RJ45 to somebody who wouldn't know what an ethernet cable was if it hit them in the face because they know they don't know. I can't do their job, so why should I expect them to know mine?

But Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all the saints in Heaven, if I get one more snotty, arrogant, up himself little bastard who says things like "I've just run a complete diagnostic on my mainframe and the test results show that I am connecting via PPPOA and my friend next door is PPPOE and *everybody* knows that you shouldn't connect PPPOA, and I'm not getting the service I'm paying for, therefore I demand that something be done".

This isn't Star Trek. Next thing you'll tell me the inertial dampeners are offline and thats also my fault. And it's a PC and a laptop, not a shagging "mainframe". And your friend is with a completely different provider. Those are our settings. Learn to love it, or piss off, I'm not that fussed. I'm a technician, not a fucking magician.

Vodka anyone? No? Lovely.

*glug*