My desk appears to have developed a concave dent in line with my forehead..

[kuang.livejournal.com]

A call comes in today from Marketing at a quarter to going home, possibly the worst combination of events to end a day out without the phrase 'leaking aircon' making an appearance. It went something like this:

Marketing Person: I need a big favour
Me: Go on..
MP: We sent a mass promotional flyer out asking people to mail marketing@thisplace.co.uk, and we don't actually have that address.
Me: OoooKay. Why did you do that?..
MP: OtherMarketingPerson wasn't here so we couldn't ask her.
Me: (thinks - So you didn't think to check for yourself?) So you want it setting up?
MP: Yeah, only it needs to be done, like, yesterday ideally!
Me: (Thinks - I knew it, they can't grasp concepts such as time. This explains a lot) I'll pass it on to the networking team
MP: Can't you do it?
Me: Normally yeah, but we're mid-migration and they're running it themselves while they keep an eye on things. I'll give them a call and ask them to take a look
MP: But it HAS to be done quickly, we need it!!
Me: (thinks - you're fucked) I'm sure they'll do it as fast as they can.
MP: We really need it in 24hrs at the latest!!!
Me: Like I said, I'll see what I can do.
MP: WIll you call me back and let me know?!?!
Me: When I hear something, yeah. Bye

(the call is made, five minutes pass)

Me: Hello, I.T. support
MP: Have you heard anything yet?!?!?!
Me: *thud*

Comments

just for clarification

[jon787.livejournal.com]

is it the marketing part they don't have or the domain part?

Re: just for clarification

[kuang.livejournal.com]

That email address has never existed in any way, shape or form, yet they still commissioned a massive print run on the grounds that, well, it SHOULD exist :)

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

That sounds like the current week's toons on User Friendly (http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20060615) about marketing and web addresses.

[kuang.livejournal.com]

Heh, classic - I'll bookmark that :)

[twistedsyx.livejournal.com]

Ever been there when a T1 installation was going bad? In short, I feel ya. Really... I do.

[kuang.livejournal.com]

The worst I've ever had was a powerout that not only took down our server and switch rooms (and showed up bad UPS that had passed with flying colours a few days before) but also caused 2 huge aircon units in the area to spill their guts over everything with a power supply. That was a mess, but it was a 'fuck, let's get busy' kind of mess. This is the sort of low grade ickiness crossed with general stupidity that leaves an unmovable sour taste in the back of your throat :)

[ihateemo.livejournal.com]

I will go out of my way to drag my feet for those people. If they're too stupid to check a fucking e-mail address, that ain't my problem.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I LOVE these kind of calls!

Put 'em on hold, slap together a quick doc saying "We screwed up big time by telling all our customers to send information to an email address which does not exist, has never existed, and which we did not bother to check before creating the advertisement.

Now we realise we're completely boned and would like this email address (marketing@thisplace.blahblah) created before our screwup costs the company millions of dollars.

We realise that it's not IT's job to chase around cleaning up after our lack of preparation, and that this won't be a priority job unless the CEO gets involved. We also promise that in future, we will not tell our customers that things exist without checking first.

Signed, Marketing"

Take them off hold and say that you'll fax them the 'emergency email address creation authorisation form' immediately. All they have to do is sign it and fax it back.

If they make a fuss about it, you can offer to send a copy to the CEO to 'speed things along'. Either the CEO (or at least an upper manager) gets informed of their screwup, or you get the most fantastic (and signed!) piece of blackmail material ever.

Wow. Opportunity knocks. Yummy.

[kuang.livejournal.com]

.....

Damn, you're good :)

[jecook]

::falls out of chair laughing::

I award you 10 golden coins.

Almost makes me wonder...

[ace-brickman.livejournal.com]

..if $FORMER_EMPLOYER has a lower efficiency rating now after the short amount of time since you've left. If something didn't get done right the first time, you'd sure be able to creatively make sure it got done right the next time.

Re: Almost makes me wonder...

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

They do; I have the stats. The average number of calls taken per tech per day was 18 (including me), and I took 30-50 depending on whether I was idling or going for broke. At one stage I was equal pegging with one of our four-person teams.

If you count jobs that were done correctly, it was even better - after seven years in that job, I was running at around 99.9%, whereas there were some people who had been there for years and were still struggling to make 25%. It would have been more efficient just to tell them to sit in a corner and not touch anything.

That reminds me - the manager's job is coming up for grabs shortly. I'm considering applying if only so I can hear about all the executives having heart attacks at the prospect.

[belovedcrown.livejournal.com]

you don't really seem invested in their problem. i mean, you don't really seem to care much. sometimes i am guilty of that too- i can't work myself up to care about their problem especially if they caused it so i just have to pretend to myself i care and pretend its my problem to motivate me to stay later and do everything in my power to help them fix the problem as soon as possible. :(

[kuang.livejournal.com]

I normally am, but today I've had a lot of silly requests from that team, some of which were delivered in a huff as if it was my fault. You sometimes feel the need to remind them that THEY fucked up, not you, and that you're actually the only one trying to help them out.

Besides, I'll only have my job for a few more weeks because the company is either about to outsource us all on the say-so of a consultantcy who (surprise surprise) also provide outsourced tech support, or are going to tell us we can run with half the people we have which is already 5 down on last year even though we've massively expanded the network since. On top of that we're about to have the department taken over by a fucktard who knows *nothing* about IT and who generally survives by dumping work he doesn't understand onto other people, ignoring their requests for clarification and taking the credit when it works, and schmoozing up to others at meetings. He's also an obnoxious little political bully (who tried it on with me recently - REALLY bad move - he was a nervous wreck by the end) and deliberately picks weak targets who he thinks won't or can't afford to fight back.

This comes on the back of two years of bullshit and mismanagement during which we've been blamed for everything and then some by the users, whilst watching management ignore our advice and comments, and spent most of our time building systems that common sense says will go tits-up VERY soon afterwards. Guess who then has to re-build them, and endure endless 'what lessons can we ALL learn from this?..' speeches?

So yeah - on the whole I suppose I coulnd't give a shit on this occasion when you look at it that way. As soon as I know I have something else and can pay the rent I may show a little benevolence...

[belovedcrown.livejournal.com]

i understand completely and i sympathize. hoping for the best for you with a new job. its got to be frustrating to work somewhere where mgt is working against you or even against the best interests of the company and customers.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

It's hard to have sympathy for people who cause their own problems and then assume you'll drop everything to help them.

If the servers fell over and it wasn't their fault - OK, it's our job to take care of that.

If a PC blew a drive and it wasn't their fault - OK, that's what we're here for.

Dead UPS? Self-corrupting version of Outlook? Network congestion? We're on it - after all, we're paid to do our job so they can do theirs.

If they do something amazingly stupid and only we can fix it - mmm, well, maybe, but don't expect us to make it a priority or keep it secret. Unless they have, you know, beer or pizza. Some kind of incentive, anyway. And it's nice to be _asked_ if we could possibly spare a moment to help them, and to receive an unspoken acknowledgement that they owe us and we WILL be collecting.

If they do something amazingly stupid and DEMAND we run around after them, cleaning up their messes - well then they get to find out the painful way who holds the leash in this game.

[guinevere33.livejournal.com]

Methinks this is a classic case of "POOR PLANNING ON YOUR PART DOES NOT CONSTITUTE AN EMERGENCY ON MINE".