Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell.

[unsupportedgeek.livejournal.com]

Earlier this week I accepted a position in our Information Security department. This officially ends my 10 year run of technical support/customer support jobs. I did start in humble beginings of Convergys, back before it was even Convergys and I have the shirt to prove it. I am strangely feeling a sense of loss. I may have to deal with the occasional asshat who didn't fill out his user account request correctly, but my customers will mainly be servers admins. June 5th is my official start date. So, right now the count down clock is 11 working days... I've saved some of my favorite calls from this last service desk job to share with you over my last few weeks...

I'm trying to remote control her computer either through NetMeeting or Wndows XP Remote Assistant:

Me: What is your IP address?
Her: 16020515086
Me: Uh, could I get it with the periods?
Her: Oh, sorry, I'm new to this computer thing

How the heck can you be new to "this computer thing"? Know where to find your IP address, but be stupid enough to EDIT OUT THE PERIODS?!?!

Next, when resetting passwords per corporate policy we have to ask a verifications question and get the answers that that people put into the system themselves when they first get hired.

Me: WAVE!
Her: "I'm a network engineer."

In order to reset someones password we have to ask them some verification questions that THEY give us when they are requesting their account. Here is a snippet of the conversation:

Me: What is your dogs name? Your first dog?
Her: Fluffy
Me: No, that is not what is down here. Maybe it's your current dog?
Her: Fluffy
Me: Again, that is not correct. I am not asking for what your password is, I am asking your verification questions.
Her: So many passwords... Fluffy?
Me: Uhm, no, Ma'am. This is not what your password is. This is the verification information that you entered into our system.
Her: Hrm.. So. Many. Passwords. F-L-U-F...
Me: What's your social security number? And DOB?

I ended up using an alternate method of verifying her identify and resetting her password. Oh, joy! I won't miss this.

Comments

[indigo-max.livejournal.com]

I did start in humble beginings of Convergys, back before it was even Convergys and I have the shirt to prove it.

It was part of Cincinatti Bell wasn't it? I thought I remembered it that way when Convergys acquired Maritz Teleservices back in 98 or 99. I worked for Maritz Marketing Research for a couple of years.

Max...

[unsupportedgeek.livejournal.com]

I was at Software Support Inc (SSI) in 1997, when it became Matrix Marketing, then Convergys... so I reckon there were different paths to Convergys. :) All crappy in their own right.

[indigo-max.livejournal.com]

I actually do remember it as Matrix too. They used our campus in Fenton MO for a short period of time after the sale. They were still looking for office space here in the St. Louis area. I actually have a brother who is working for Convergys at the moment. I think he is being groomed to do business to business sales stuff with them.

I've always heard that Tech Support with them is a meat grinder. The turn over rates are awful and they hire just about anyone.

Max...

[unsupportedgeek.livejournal.com]

Here in Orlando they sucked the real computer savvy well dry and started going into old folks homes, high schools, and day cares to fill positions. It was not a bad stepping stone for me. As long as you do not mind having a supervisor who is 16 years old, being paid around $8/hr (I was lucky, and got grandfathered in at $10.25, but couldn't expect any raises)... and if you wanted to you could get your schedule, paycheck, and drugs (allegedly) from the same person.

[sheryls.livejournal.com]

see, i heard the toledo Convergys was the strictest place on earth - one kid i know got fired for walking through the door, remembering he left something in his car, going back out to get it, and then re-entering the building. o.O

[unsupportedgeek.livejournal.com]

it does not begin, or end there. I left before it got that bad in Orlando, but I'm sure you will have more stories within minutes. :) In Houston they fired an entire call center during a meeting. They walked them down the fire escape/back stairwell as to not disturb the rest of the call center.

During the SSI days, while setting up the Amsterdam office, they have strict union labor laws that prevent working past a certain time. The phone guy hadn't finished setting up the phone switches yet. So the owner, Joe, locked all the doors. The only way the guy could get out was to hook up the switches so he could call and get help. Needless to say Joe was indited on some federal charges.. I think he is an art dealer in Miami now or something like that.

[sheryls.livejournal.com]

oh there were more horror stories than just that - about half the call center of my old job (where i started in techsupport and was mercifully moved to the programming team shortly after) were Convergys refugees. :P most of them were fired from there for one asinine reason or another.

[pokemyeye.livejournal.com]

i used to work for convergys in lake mary florida. THat place was a joke.

[unsupportedgeek.livejournal.com]

What do you mean *was*?

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

So did I, and I agree, what's with the past tense? ;)

[pokemyeye.livejournal.com]

i no longer work there, thus i talk about it in past tense

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Extrapolation and logical reasoning state that it must still be, though! :)

[pokemyeye.livejournal.com]

ok i can agree with the extrapolation, but i do not posses logical reasoning.:-)

[inahandbasket]

interestingly there's only one way to parse that IP address and have it be valid... ;-)

[theogrin.livejournal.com]

Many, many more, if you allow leading zeros.

[inahandbasket]

yes, but I don't. =P

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

That was my thought. I mean, seriously, who uses leading zeroes? (I *know*, some people do, but why would you?)

[nuadha-prime.livejournal.com]

Sorry to be one of those people, but the original quote is "all we need of hell."

Congrats on the escape!

[unsupportedgeek.livejournal.com]

No need to be sorry, I stole it from some random website off Yahoo!. They are the ones who should be sorry. Shame on them... I should have known something would be wrong when they spelled Dickinson, Dikcinson...

http://www.great-quotes.com/goodbye_quotes.htm

[fearrett.livejournal.com]

I worked at Convergys in Edmonton.

Gave me an ulcer.

Twice.

[projectgator.livejournal.com]

Convergys refugee here also. Although I didnt mind it cause I loved how we could simply right click on our tool do a search for "pwd=" and find the user's pwd. Many random resets occured after that.


/SUCK IT SBC

[tjernobyl.livejournal.com]

You had tools to reset people? Lucky. All our tools did was crash *our* machines.