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[ephant.livejournal.com]

This morning I had a customer call up to complain that we had been charging him for his ADSL for the past six months but that he still couldn't get online because he couldn't find "the cd".

Now, he was using windows XP and connecting up to the modem/router using the ethernet cable so he didn't need to install the modem or, in fact, do anything except plug the thing in. We preconfigured the modem before we posted it out to him. I explained to the customer that all he needed to do was plug the modem in and he should be able to get online. He said he had the modem plugged in and he told me that he had "a tech" over with him the week before but that "the tech" told him he would need "the cd" to make it work. I asked the customer what happened when he tried to view webpages. He told me he couldn't get the internet. I asked him to open a web browser (what's that? internet explorer. little blue e) and he said "but I told you! I click on the internet and nothing happens!"

I then asked him if he was double clicking. He said no. I told him to double click on the internet explorer icon and, what do you know, it worked.

"so what was the problem?" he asked me.

*sigh*

Comments

[linguafranca.livejournal.com]

Man, I used to get that more often than one would imagine. I bet this dude will be calling back within three days.

[ephant.livejournal.com]

Since it took him SIX MONTHS to bother to call us about this "problem" I doubt that will be the case.

[trayce.livejournal.com]

Don't you just love people like that? They are offline for whatever reason (even a legit one) and wait 3, 6 months or more, then complain and demand refunds. The hell.

[ghostdandp.livejournal.com]

We had a policy of a maximum of 1 month refund no matter what, and that was prorated depending on when they called. The only exception was problems that were our fault (ie we forgot to put them into the Emerald/Radius system and didn't notice for a few months. Yes, I had coworkers that dumb)

[ihateemo.livejournal.com]

My favourite people are the ones who say, "I want a refund for the last six months this hasn't been working!" but are only *just* calling to complain.

I actually laugh while on the phone.

[bassgirl.livejournal.com]

The other day I tried explaining that if there had been such a big problem for 6 months already, we would need some sort of record that he had tried to call in to fix the problem, or we would not be able to apply any credits. His response?

"I DID call in! Like, two months ago!!!!! The message said I'd have to wait for 5 minutes, though, so I hung up!"

[trayce.livejournal.com]

Haw, love that icon :D

[geeveecatullus.livejournal.com]

hahaha!

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Once again, I'm forced to wonder, how does this person manage to dress and feed itself in the morning? Damn, some days I'm forced to conclude that I did something really, really bad, in a past life, and have been sentenced to live on Planet Stooopid.

[sigurther.livejournal.com]

"MY INTARNETS ARE BROKEN!"

"Oh, God, no! Sir, did you say you broke the internet???"

"... THEY AER BROKEND!"

"You've just destroyed the infrastructure of the world in one fell swoop! RUN! HIDE! BILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE GOING TO KILL YOU!! AUAUUAUAUAUARRRGGH!"

*click*

*shudders and looks around suspiciously* "WHAR SI MY GUNZ????"

[kamala-1.livejournal.com]

I had one the other day that said that there was a problem with the network because she could not get out the internet.

I asked "Are you getting any errors?"
She said "Yes, it says I am working offline"
Me "Um, go ahead and click 'work online' for me"
She thought I was a genius for getting her network fixed so fast.

This call was followed by the guy who (after about a half hour) I got to successfully right click on my computer so we could get to the device manager to check for driver conflicts...After what seemed like an eternity, we were ready to test.

I asked him to open a browser window.

"What's that?"

The way you usually access the internet.

"OK"

Go ahead and go out to a web site.

"How do I do that?"

Type an address in the address bar or go to one of your favorites.

"I can't everything is grayed out"

What type of browser is it?

"AOL"

Do you use AOL?

"I used to."

Go ahead and close that window and open internet explorer.

"What's that?"

You can imagine the rest......

[hyuga.livejournal.com]

Keyboard> Problem <Chair

[ramennoodlegirl.livejournal.com]

at least they don't do what so many of the people i support do. i get many paniced calls... "my internet's not working! i need someone to come look at it RIGHT NOW!" "okay when did it stop working?" "like just now. i had this page open and then i closed it. when i clicked to get back on the internet, it didn't work! can someone come NOW?" *sigh* it's also worth noting that 9 times out of 10 they are working on our wireless network. how do you explain to them that all networks, especially wireless, have "burps" from time to time? just chill and try again in a few minutes.

[benatwork.livejournal.com]

I don't understand some people. If my broadband's down for more than five minutes, I'm already poking at the router. Ten minutes, and I'm calling support. :P

Screw being patient!