techrecovery | senior theses are due tomorrow

I'm not done with mine, but I had to work this afternoon anyway. Actually, my coworker took pity on me and covered my shift for most of the afternoon, which meant I didn't end up maiming people.
The anxiety was building up the more I worked with stressed seniors who were closer to finishing than I was.

Look, guys. I have just a few things to say. I know you're panicked and so close to being done and probably haven't slept in a while. But:
1. There is honestly no excuse for not being in the template at this point. Your own ignorance does not count.
2. You have 24 hours. It's okay that the registrar wants you to change the header, because you have enough time.
3. No, we will not format the entire thing for you. That's still your responsibility.
4. The IRCs are not your personal thesis desk. You have one of those, I know you do. So please let other people use the computer when you take off for over an hour, because everyone and their roommate needs to use the ircs now.
5. Please. Shower. Oh good god.

To the girl who had a complete, Word-formatted thesis on Monday, but decided that she would take it upon her computer phobic self to install TeXShop and transfer the entire thesis into LaTeX because it is prettier: Fuck. You. If you have so much goddamn time on your hands, enjoy your extra week or help people with their theses. Don't take up our time by expecting us to give you a crash course in LaTeX because you want your perfectly fine thesis to be a mite bit prettier. Or if you insist on transferring it to LaTeX, do it on your own and don't think that you should get priority over people who have more urgent problems.

Back to my thesis! I'm almost there!