"Please Do Not Hit The Crack Pipe Before Phoning"

[canray.livejournal.com]

I do Tech Support for a US Cable Internet Company. Actually, I'm a Wireless Networks Specialist.

The mistransfers, however, are always the worst.

But this one:

Caller: "I'm getting no sound on my computer."

Me: *Thinking* {Oh Great, the Tech screwed something up}: "OK, are the speakers on?"

Caller: "I don't have any."

Me: "What?"

Caller: "The Modem is supposed to supply me with sound."

Me: "Ummmmmmm, no. There's no speakers in our Modems, they just provide Internet access." *Pulls up account even more, not one of the people I'm supposed to support* {Aw Crud.}

Caller: "I'm sure it is, it used to come from this modem box from under the desk..."

Me: "What is the name on the box?"

Caller: "I... Don't know."

Me: "Can you look?"

Caller: "No. Why is the sound not working?"

Me: "If any sounds came from the Modem, that would be because it's broken. And they would not be happy sounds."

Caller: "Then I'll just call That Guy."

Me: "You do that."

*Headdesk* What a way to end a Good Friday.

Comments

[xforge.livejournal.com]

I got a brazilian dollars that says that "modem" said COMPAQ on the front of it.

[canray.livejournal.com]

Probably, but she refused to read it the THREE TIMES I asked her to. (It's been cut for space. And my pathetic memory.).

[d-l-leonine.livejournal.com]

You *ONLY* have to support wireless networks!?

I'm putting in for a transfer. Crappy Cable here has us supporting cable, HD, broadband (all providers), wireless networking and VoIP and very agressivly excercises their option to toss us into billing whenever there's even the threat of a queue....

[canray.livejournal.com]

Theoretically, that's it. Honestly, that, and all the mistransfers that come my way. X(

[d-l-leonine.livejournal.com]

with all the crap we are expected to do, most times it's tough to determine which calls are bad transfers....

What I love are the calls we get from CSR's where they never even bothered to get the customers information. They just blind transfer them over to us.

[canray.livejournal.com]

Or when they *THINK* they know what they're doing:

"192! That's the Home Networking IP Address, I'll get you to them!" "Hello, I have a regular cable modem and my own personal router..."

Gets worse, some Supervisors (At other Centres), are telling their Reps to "Transfer immediately to Home Networking, no matter the issue! We cannot deal with them at all!"

Then I get into a half-hour long call that a Hard Boot of the Cable Modem works. X(

[mouse-from-marz.livejournal.com]

That Guy?!?

("dear God, it's me, Margaret. my modem isnt making noise anymore. why? amem.")

[canray.livejournal.com]

God: "Lucy, do you know why this person is so stupid?"

Satan: "Don't try to pin this on me! AND DON'T CALL ME LUCY!"

[mouse-from-marz.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHA!

[canray.livejournal.com]

God: "And what is up with that Burger King Guy?"

Satan: "Another 'Not Me'."

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

[canray.livejournal.com]

Sweet! :-D

[mouse-from-marz.livejournal.com]

Faaaaaaaan-tastic!

[ghostdandp.livejournal.com]

Wait, why are you supporting some guys sound system?

I would have told him to contact his computer manufacturer, would have saved you some trouble

[canray.livejournal.com]

Actually, I was stalling for time so I could end my shift before getting another call that would have taken longer.

I admit it.

[kerberos.livejournal.com]

Actually on some of the Old IBM Aptiva comps they had a motherboard with 6 Isa and just 1 pci. in that pci they had a combined Modem/sound-card.

Which just would not installed using their drivers. so out came the crappola rescuedisk and had to redo the whole thing.

sigh.

Piece of Crap!

[canray.livejournal.com]

Oh man! *Shudders* Why would you combine the two?

[harmer.livejournal.com]

Yay for US Cable Internet tech reps...I love finding more of my "breed." :P

[canray.livejournal.com]

God(s) help us!

[harmer.livejournal.com]

Heh, there BETTER be something sweet waiting for us all after life!