Unlimited budget, limited imagination

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

After really good business office graphic designer left, IT put a stipulation that we would have input on the new hire. VP of college, meanwhile, has friend/designer take care of work on the side. Job opens and guess who's suddenly in that position, without proper process? I'm given the job of ordering top-line Mac and PC for user, before meeting her. I call around to graphic designers I know and start ordering. I have unlimited budget. Soon, there's a pile of shiny kit stored in my office; 4 21" monitors (two per system), two 6x9 tablets, 2 Kensington track balls, 1 tabloid scanner, 1 GB ram each (2001), large format Epson, HP colour laser and full Adobe/Macromedia suites.

I get office set up, designer shows up and complains that there's too much equipment in there. All she really wants is a pc. Doesn't want printers, scanners, Mac, etc. Too many monitors, too.

First call after clearing most gear out of office is, "where do I send things to be scanned?"

I explain that graphic designer does scanning. Turns out she's never scanned anything before. Sigh. A day later, scanner is reinstalled, user explained her job.

"Where do I get clip art from?"

Explained last two designers created their own on paper, scanned into draw program, etc. Ended up purchasing clip art CD.

"Where are all the fonts?"

Explained previous designers used Macs exclusivly and we had Adobe Library available for Mac. Could not be used on PC. Told user to find fonts she wanted and I would order them.

"What fonts should I get?"

blink-blink. I'm an art school drop out, who's specialty was fonts but I'll be damned if I do her job for her ($45k/salary her-$27k hourly me). "What fonts do you use at home?"

"I don't have a computer at home."

blink-blink. Never known a designer who didn't have their own rig at home. I dig deeper. Turns out she worked as a 'graphic designer' as a production house, where everything was decided for her and she was actually just a layout jocky. D'oh!

So, it's not what you know but who you know. Damn my anti-social geek ways! Will never get ahead.

Comments

[omg-teh-funnay.livejournal.com]

*facepalm*

And you can't outright complain about her, 'cause she's the VP's friend. Hrm.. maybe, since she's such a luser, you can tweak her settings till she quits in frustration

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

Can I have her job? =D I've actually DONE graphic design, layout, imagework, 3D modelling, you name it. I would KILL for the kit you bought her. KILL. I come with a convenient point-and-kill interface.

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

Also, if you need someplace to store all her unwanted gear, I volunteer my home office.

[trayce.livejournal.com]

VP be damned, if I were you I'dve told HR and anyone else relevant her concept of the job (ie that she basically can't do it). Jeez I know more about graphic design than that, and I've never studied it.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

That was the last major job I had at the college. After supporting her sorry ass for 6 months, I relocated to a government supported lab. No more supporting prima donna professors, loser staff and stinky students. Now I support...prima donna engineers, loser office assistants, and stinky contractors. Am moving up in the world.

As for the place I left, as far as I know, designer's still there. In another department, there's another designer who was hired a year earlier (lateral transfer). When I went out to set up her equipment, she asked where the drawing table and blue pencils were. Go figure.

[meandean.livejournal.com]

Re. 'another designer':

Weeellll... Speaking as a hobbyist graphics geek, I don't see why a request for a drawing table, pens, etc. would be out of line. My Rapidographs still get plenty of mileage.

(Unless a table and pencils were the only equipment she wanted.)

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Yup, she'd never done DTP. She'd graduated from college with a degree in graphic design, back in the '70's but had been a housewife for 20 years before coming back to work as a secretary at the school. Again, she was friends with the head of the department and so got the job.

It's amazing that we, as a race, made it up out of the sea.

[ihateemo.livejournal.com]

4 21" monitors (two per system), two 6x9 tablets, 2 Kensington track balls, 1 tabloid scanner, 1 GB ram each (2001), large format Epson, HP colour laser and full Adobe/Macromedia suites.

Woof! I got a stiffy after reading that.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Exactly. I went nuts. Was a shame that she didn't want a lot of that stuff. Still, didn't want it to go to waste. The next Mac Tech guy at that school had a nice office when he showed up.

[mcity.livejournal.com]

I learned never to use Comic Sans around age twelve. I'm 19, and I have the online locations of my favorite fonts memorized. And I'm not even a Graphic Design major.

That said, how the frick could she not know how to use a scanner?

[lwj2.livejournal.com]

"Where do I get clip art from?"

Egad. A college. "You stupid b***, if you can't draw your own, you go to the Art Department and talk to the instructors, make it a project for grades."

"Where are all the fonts?"

Linotype. Adobe. Monotype. ITC. Berthold AG. Gods, what an idiot. "In the folder marked «Fonts»."

"What fonts should I get?"

"Considering your obviously limited ability and imagination, Times New Roman and Arial. Anything more would confuse you."

Egad. I would't let her design anything more complex or vital than a hall pass. Although I'd give a nail paring to see her set a Supreme Court brief.