Paco is no longer allowed....
Apr. 6th, 2006 10:39 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
the-paco.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
techrecoveryI fight impulses every day, some of them subtle, some less so. I just have to tell myself not to do it... anymore. Who knew working in a callcenter would have so many rules?
No Paco, you cannot scream "I hope baboons rape your dog tonight" to the customer.
No Paco, you cannot hang up on the customer and claim God told you to, again.
No Paco, you cannot eat all your caffeine pills at once, hump the monitor like a greyhound in heat, and scream that you are Rikki Lee Travolta's left sideburn come to murder us all with the stabbity 70s hair pain to the callcenter.
No Paco, a proper phone greeting is not "Arr, heave to and prepare to be boarded, ye scurvy phone dogs."
No Paco, you cannot refer to the trouble ticket number as 'booty'. Trust me Paco, you do not want to ask them for booty, they may give it to you.
Two eyepatches do not double the sexy.
Multiple peg limbs do not equate to more sexy.
No Paco, you cannot accuse the tech of bringing you bad juju when your test refuses to run just like his did.
No Paco, you cannot demand a sacrificial anything for your answers.
No Paco, proper responses to the phrase "Hey, I saw you at X place yesterday" from your coworkers do not include:
"I didn't know anyone saw me. Now I'll have to kill you too."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"If the FBI asks and you know what's good for you, you'll forget that little tidbit."
"Okay Blue! Now that we've got two clues, what are we gonna find!?"
"Tweet tweet tweet TWEEEEEEEEE Tweet tweet tweeeeeeeet."
No Paco, "I find your lack of faith disturbing" is not a valid reason to hang up on the tech.
No Paco, when your supervisor comes over and picks something up off your desk, you're not allowed to try to bite him.
No Paco, you're not allowed to declare a Jihad on the MetroPCS section of the callcenter.
No Paco, when the facilities supervisor answers your question of "Can we paint the ceiling tiles individual colors?" with "Good luck reaching them." you're not allowed to prove that you can.
No Paco, you cannot scream "I hope baboons rape your dog tonight" to the customer.
No Paco, you cannot hang up on the customer and claim God told you to, again.
No Paco, you cannot eat all your caffeine pills at once, hump the monitor like a greyhound in heat, and scream that you are Rikki Lee Travolta's left sideburn come to murder us all with the stabbity 70s hair pain to the callcenter.
No Paco, a proper phone greeting is not "Arr, heave to and prepare to be boarded, ye scurvy phone dogs."
No Paco, you cannot refer to the trouble ticket number as 'booty'. Trust me Paco, you do not want to ask them for booty, they may give it to you.
Two eyepatches do not double the sexy.
Multiple peg limbs do not equate to more sexy.
No Paco, you cannot accuse the tech of bringing you bad juju when your test refuses to run just like his did.
No Paco, you cannot demand a sacrificial anything for your answers.
No Paco, proper responses to the phrase "Hey, I saw you at X place yesterday" from your coworkers do not include:
"I didn't know anyone saw me. Now I'll have to kill you too."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"If the FBI asks and you know what's good for you, you'll forget that little tidbit."
"Okay Blue! Now that we've got two clues, what are we gonna find!?"
"Tweet tweet tweet TWEEEEEEEEE Tweet tweet tweeeeeeeet."
No Paco, "I find your lack of faith disturbing" is not a valid reason to hang up on the tech.
No Paco, when your supervisor comes over and picks something up off your desk, you're not allowed to try to bite him.
No Paco, you're not allowed to declare a Jihad on the MetroPCS section of the callcenter.
No Paco, when the facilities supervisor answers your question of "Can we paint the ceiling tiles individual colors?" with "Good luck reaching them." you're not allowed to prove that you can.
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Thanks for setting that straight.
Date: 2006-04-06 04:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-06 04:12 pm (UTC)Thye won't let us do anything fun.
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Date: 2006-04-06 04:18 pm (UTC)Bullshit. They must pay. They must ALWAYS pay.
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Date: 2006-04-06 04:23 pm (UTC)Reminds me of The 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The US Army (http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html)(pops)
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Date: 2006-04-06 08:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-06 05:13 pm (UTC)Having a good, solid ruler handy is a good alternative :)
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Date: 2006-04-06 05:41 pm (UTC)Are you sure about that one? Becuase the biting helps them stay away from my desk and me.
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Date: 2006-04-07 07:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-07 03:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-06 06:06 pm (UTC)man, your workplace sucks. I'm allowed to do that...
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Date: 2006-04-07 02:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-10 02:49 pm (UTC)Great, now I'm sorely tempted to declare a Jihad on our sales team. (SLAs aren't "more like guidelines, really," you fuckers. Stop making promises we can't keep!)