*headdesk*

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

Retardedness. Pure sheer unadulturated retardedness.

Rep: "I have this problem with a file on my laptop. I don't have my laptop with me, but I wanted to see if you could answer this question or if it's something that somebody else deals with."

Don't you just love when people call with a problem that they aren't prepared to work on?

So she goes on to describe her problem to me.

Rep: "Yeah, I'm trying to fill out this form, and it's supposed to have pop up boxes that aren't there, so I got an email that said the fix was to set macros to medium and that would fix it. But I set macros to medium and there's still no pop up boxes."

Wtf? I've heard of enabling macros, and I've heard of setting security to medium, but I've never in my life heard of setting macros to medium.

Me: "It sounds like your form may be corrupted. You'll want to just download a fresh copy of the form and that should fix you up."

Yeah, it's a cop-out, but I don't feel like dealing with her style of idiot today.

Fifteen minutes later...

Phone rings.

Me: "Thanks for calling the <helpdesk> at <company>, this is Kiz, how can I help you?"

Same. Damn. Lady.

Rep: "I was just talking to somebody over there and I don't think they knew what they were talking about, so I need to talk to somebody else who knows about this..."

Oh, I always LOVE to hear that one. Even if they're not referring to me. Our techs, every single one of them, are badass. If you can't be helped by us, you don't WANT to be helped. But anyway.

Rep: "... I have this problem with dropdown boxes that aren't showing up on my form. I did the fix with setting macros to medium but it didn't work."

Sigh. So now it's dropdown boxes and not pop up boxes?

Me: "Okay, can you walk me through exactly what you did?"

Rep: "Okay. I did <navigate through Lotus Notes to a particular remote database and download form> and then opened it in Word, went to Tools, Macro, Security, and chose Medium."

Aha! So it WAS security, not macros, you set to medium. I knew it. Bitch. Anyway, I take all the steps she describes and open up the form.

There is not a dropdown, popup, or any box to be had on this form other than standard text fields.

Me: "Uh... I don't think there's SUPPOSED to be any dropdown boxes. These are all just plain text boxes."

Rep: "Well everyone else is getting dropdown boxes."

I highly doubt that.

Me: "Okay, let me transfer you over to the <department that handles the database this form came from>."

I stay on the line to listen in.

Other department: "There's no dropdowns."

Rep: "But everyone else says they get them."

Other department: "Sorry. There's no dropdowns. You need to just type things in."

I finally dropped off the call five minutes later, and they were still arguing.

Comments

[omg-teh-funnay.livejournal.com]

I love it when people don't realize they've called you back.

(there was a fun story of me screwing with an end user who didn't realize that all three times she called the helpdesk, she got me. It got too long for a comment, though)

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

I have to admit that I've indulged in a bit of amusement that way, too.

"Okay, let me bring up your previous case... oh, you talked to Kiz? Yeah, he's one of our best analysts, actually... looks like he gave you even more information than I know about. He's always on top of things. Sorry, I don't think there's anything more I can do for you."

[katyism.livejournal.com]

Why haven't I thought of this before? Callers never recognize me the second time around, even the frequent callers who KNOW I am the only female voice on the phone between 8am and 5pm. I'm going to have to give that a try, but be more subtle. The management doesn't like some of the creative ideas I've tested here...

[docjeff.livejournal.com]

Retardedness. Pure sheer unadulturated retardedness.

Retardation, actually. Don't let me see this again or I'll write you up or something equally as weak. :-)

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

Holy crap.

I'd been informed that you were a myth. A creature of fable. Assuredly non-existant.

To wit: a person even more of a grammar Nazi than myself.

[docjeff.livejournal.com]

I am pleased to make your acquaintance. :)

[olafthunderfoot.livejournal.com]

holy damn, a sleeztak!

[docjeff.livejournal.com]

Aw, people do still remember us. We are touched. :)

[olafthunderfoot.livejournal.com]

lol, Land of the Lost used to be my fave show!

[docjeff.livejournal.com]

You mean it isn't your favourite show now? How disappointing! :-)

[olafthunderfoot.livejournal.com]

well, it got canceled way back when and i don't have a telly now.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Please tell me this was written up just the way it happened :)

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

It's not word for word perfect, but it's pretty damn close.

[kait-the-great.livejournal.com]

I've never seen forms filled out in Word. Is it possible other employees were filling in the same form for the nth time and getting suggested inputs when they started typing?

</curious>

[thalionar.livejournal.com]

that was my thought as well...

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

Not likely. This is an HR growth plan, which they're required to submit if they have any 'needs improvement' scores on their annual evaluation. So even the worst of employees, assuming they're not bad enough to get fired outright, will only be filling one of these out per year.