no, we cannot help you

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

as a college help desk, we only help students and faculty. Staff have their own guys, and we only help alumni when we have a free moment. However, we have online documentation, and google brings them up for people not affiliated with the college.

The other day there was a ticket asking for help encrypting a CD-R, and one of the full time staff replies with a request for the guy's association with our school.
The guy's response:
through apple care. if i need an account, i'd be more than happy to set one up.

wtf? Yeah, Apple Care automatically gives you access to every goddamn help desk in the nation.

On a completely unrelated note, there's a departmental softball tournament coming up in a few weeks. Computer User/Information Services needs a team name. Last year we were the Cissies (for CIS). Got anything better?

Comments

[valiskeogh.livejournal.com]

if you beat us we'll delete your email

how about the IYBUWDYE
pronounced eyebudeye

:)

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

lovely! Except, we actually don't want to win, we want to just spend the day drinking beer and watching the other games. So BUOWDYE (beat us or we'll delete your email) might be more appropriate.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

I'd call the team the Crises this year.

[katyism.livejournal.com]

It's almost the exact same problem here thanks to our Knowledge Base being a top hit in google for certain common search terms. I've gotten many a call from many a redneck, along the lines of:

"How do I set up Outlook? What, what username? I don't have a username. No, I'm not a student. No, I'm not faculty or staff either. State university? I ain't got nothin to do with yer university. I typed in 'setup outlook' on the websearcher and your number came up... IF you cain't help me then why the hell are you putting yerselfs contact info on the world wide website?"


Sadly, the pages they get to on our KB all have a little disclaimer right by our phone number saying it is for those affiliated with State University ONLY...

[dirtymatt.livejournal.com]

What means this read?

[katyism.livejournal.com]

I can't tell if you're making a joke or asking what the hell I meant by what I wrote in this thread...

[dirtymatt.livejournal.com]

Poor attempt at humor. I've dealt with far too many users who seem to suffer from cases of selective illiteracy.

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

see, that assumes that people read. And really, every day is another reminder that people don't. They can, but they don't.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

I need to sign up for apple care if it means I can fob the support requests on others....

GIGO

[gythiawulfie.livejournal.com]

Garbage In Garbage Out.... dunno, the only one I could think of and you all probably do alot of fixing related to that

OT

[ace-brickman.livejournal.com]

Is that a wolf with a harpoon gun? If that's from a game, I must have to read up on the documentation for that one!

[enigma-o.livejournal.com]

CUSS OUT
Computer user services should order user termination.