Best revenge ever?
Mar. 26th, 2006 09:44 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
the-s-guy.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
techrecoveryOK, best tech revenge stories, front and centre :)
1) A long time ago, I was the sole techsupport person for an office of 100 public servants, presided over by a man called Trevor. No-one liked Trevor. The only tech-savvy people in the office were myself and my backup-slash-assistant, who also happened to be my gf.
So one day, things came to a head between Trevor and I, and he demoted me out of the tech job. Of course, he'd been operating under the assumption that my backup would happily take over. Oops.
Slight miscalculation there. And for months, I would spend hours every day telling people "I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to fix your busted PC/printer/scanner any more, why don't you go and ask Trevor what he's doing about it?"
2) In another job, I supported four hundred offices and over twenty thousand people. An office manager emailed us one day demanding that a standard in-house miniprogram be modified to include IM ability.
Depite the fact that the program had nothing to do with IM, and there were already three fully operational IM programs available in every office.
When I wrote back with a very bland explanation of why this would not be happening, she went nuts and responded with the most techno-illiterate craptastical email it has ever been my displeasure to read. Effectively, she wanted us to do all her work for her, along with a number of other demands I'd expect to see from a three-year-old.
I could see that this was likely to get uglier and uglier over the next three months of going back and forth, so I cut to the chase and wrote a smackdown letter to her, cc:ing her own boss into the bargain. I pointed out exactly why we were not going to do her job for her, that we had already gone above and beyond our job descriptions even by providing the basic information we had included in the last email, and that if she had a problem with this, she could start by gaining the mental processing qualifications I'd expect from a kindergartener.
As expected, she totally did her 'nana and forwarded the email on up the chain of command until it intersected mine, whereupon my punishment was to be told that she had just managed to inform everyone likely to be involved in her future career choices that she was a complete and total idiot.
And on the third day,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
the_s_guy rested.
3) There was an upcoming project in another division which threatened to be so badly programmed that the helpdesk would have collapsed under the weight of incoming calls. So my boss arranged for me to be part of the QA team.
When I wouldn't certify the program, the programmers complained. I told them to pick a random person out of a non-programming part of the IT division, and I would sit behind them, quiet as a mouse, while the chosen victim attempted to follow the installation instructions the programmers had provided. If I observed a major fault (one that would kill the project dead), I would make a note.
Three hours into testing, I called a break, and made a call to the Grand High Head Honcho of Programming QA - the guy who gets his butt kicked for any faults in certified in-house software.
"Hi. Did you know that program X is being tested today, outside of your schedule?"
"WTF?"
"And did you know that the programmers are actively interfering in the testing?"
"WTF?"
"And did you know that in three hours of testing, I have observed no less than two hundred and forty-four major faults in their methodology?"
"WTF?"
"You have their cellphone numbers handy, I believe?"
Funnily enough, when I got back from our scheduled break, the programmers were nowhere to be seen, and the guy in charge of the testing room said that the project had mysteriously become suspended. Indefinitely.
Bossman was a happy Boss that day.
1) A long time ago, I was the sole techsupport person for an office of 100 public servants, presided over by a man called Trevor. No-one liked Trevor. The only tech-savvy people in the office were myself and my backup-slash-assistant, who also happened to be my gf.
So one day, things came to a head between Trevor and I, and he demoted me out of the tech job. Of course, he'd been operating under the assumption that my backup would happily take over. Oops.
Slight miscalculation there. And for months, I would spend hours every day telling people "I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to fix your busted PC/printer/scanner any more, why don't you go and ask Trevor what he's doing about it?"
2) In another job, I supported four hundred offices and over twenty thousand people. An office manager emailed us one day demanding that a standard in-house miniprogram be modified to include IM ability.
Depite the fact that the program had nothing to do with IM, and there were already three fully operational IM programs available in every office.
When I wrote back with a very bland explanation of why this would not be happening, she went nuts and responded with the most techno-illiterate craptastical email it has ever been my displeasure to read. Effectively, she wanted us to do all her work for her, along with a number of other demands I'd expect to see from a three-year-old.
I could see that this was likely to get uglier and uglier over the next three months of going back and forth, so I cut to the chase and wrote a smackdown letter to her, cc:ing her own boss into the bargain. I pointed out exactly why we were not going to do her job for her, that we had already gone above and beyond our job descriptions even by providing the basic information we had included in the last email, and that if she had a problem with this, she could start by gaining the mental processing qualifications I'd expect from a kindergartener.
As expected, she totally did her 'nana and forwarded the email on up the chain of command until it intersected mine, whereupon my punishment was to be told that she had just managed to inform everyone likely to be involved in her future career choices that she was a complete and total idiot.
And on the third day,
the_s_guy rested.3) There was an upcoming project in another division which threatened to be so badly programmed that the helpdesk would have collapsed under the weight of incoming calls. So my boss arranged for me to be part of the QA team.
When I wouldn't certify the program, the programmers complained. I told them to pick a random person out of a non-programming part of the IT division, and I would sit behind them, quiet as a mouse, while the chosen victim attempted to follow the installation instructions the programmers had provided. If I observed a major fault (one that would kill the project dead), I would make a note.
Three hours into testing, I called a break, and made a call to the Grand High Head Honcho of Programming QA - the guy who gets his butt kicked for any faults in certified in-house software.
"Hi. Did you know that program X is being tested today, outside of your schedule?"
"WTF?"
"And did you know that the programmers are actively interfering in the testing?"
"WTF?"
"And did you know that in three hours of testing, I have observed no less than two hundred and forty-four major faults in their methodology?"
"WTF?"
"You have their cellphone numbers handy, I believe?"
Funnily enough, when I got back from our scheduled break, the programmers were nowhere to be seen, and the guy in charge of the testing room said that the project had mysteriously become suspended. Indefinitely.
Bossman was a happy Boss that day.
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no subject
Date: 2006-03-26 12:29 pm (UTC)One day, I too hope to have this same experience. And on that day, I shall laugh until I cry.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-27 02:24 am (UTC)I've also done #1, only to a very small group of people at my place. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-03-26 03:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-26 04:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-26 06:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-26 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-27 02:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-27 06:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-26 11:05 pm (UTC)Working for a major cable company, I get lots of calls from people who are having their wireless abused by outsiders. On multiple occasions I've actually /talked/ to my neighbors and informed them they might want to secure their wireless. Even gone to the extent to take my company badge, walk over to their house, and offer to show them how. They refuse.
So, now, once a month, I log into each of the 4 unsecured wireless access points here, pull up the admin page (and no, they didn't change the password, it's still the default one), and set their router to a static 127.0.0.1 ip address.
It's amusing. At least to me. You'd think they'd learn.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-27 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-27 02:25 am (UTC)::sigh::
Date: 2006-03-27 02:26 am (UTC)Stupid regent cost...
Re: ::sigh::
Date: 2006-03-27 02:26 am (UTC)Re: ::sigh::
Date: 2006-03-27 02:27 am (UTC)