The dying art of ticket writing

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

Thanks to a policy giving customers the right to examine their ticket history, our call-logging database is being 'sanitised' for public access.

[date] [name] ticket_open

* win98 / conexant hcf 56k datafax modem

* connection dropping while popping mailserver - set max speed to 57600, switched to software flow control, added init string AT&F&C1&D2s10=200+MS=v90,1 - connecting okay now

* advised customer of alt dial-in # for 04 area

* advised customer of mailbox space limit

* advised customer that no, i'm not interested in an amway distributorship, but if i ever change my mind she'll be the first one i call / resolved

---

[date] [name] ticket_open

* gavin (IT manager) calling / win2k / radiolink highspeed and managed router

* cannot reach own website - browser gives 404 error, ping test timing out, dns lookup failing

* advised gavin this is all normal if he spells his domain name wrong / NFA

---

[date] [name] ticket_open

* graham calling / win98 / lucent winmodem

* connection dropping, auth log shows line noise disconnections

* added v34 init string - no improvement

* caller says the police are tapping his line, would that cause the problem? - advised him probably not

* caller also advises that the police are involved in drug smuggling, and he's been reporting it to the government for some time

* furthermore, caller advises that there is a conspiracy reaching the highest levels of parliament and that shortly they're going to make him vanish because he knows too much

* offered caller our deepest sympathies, advised to have line checked by telco / NFA

Comments

[thalionar.livejournal.com]

oh dear... too bad that's having to go the way of the dodo...

I really wish we could put that sort of thing in our tickets, but no, we have to have sanitized tickets, too.

Ah well.

[nem0.livejournal.com]

We had to sanitize our tickets after one of our on-site techs took a printout reading, "FIX THIS DUMB BITCH'S WALL JACK BEFORE SHE CALLS US AGAIN" to the site... and left it where said dumb bitch could read it.

[dysan27.livejournal.com]

oops!

[usekh.livejournal.com]

Damn privacy act :( we regulalry get told off for "unprofessional" notes

[taleya.livejournal.com]

damn....We're allowed to include that stuff in our notes - and our customers have always been able to demand access.

Hey they said it..

(we're also allowed to include anything they call us :D)

[said-by-me.livejournal.com]

ours have always been sanitized because we deal with our own employees only.... you can get snide stuff in coached in "fact" (ie user highly argumentative, declining to follow proper policy and/or support model

stuff like that is always fun but not as fun as the drug smuggling amway type stuff

[dario.livejournal.com]

We have always had internal and external view.

I am glad our fun little comments will not die as soon as yours.

[lordstorm.livejournal.com]

I got told off for using emoticons on my tickets recently!

So I switched to using l33t instead:

S3gzy l33t ch1x0r h4x0r n00b's b0x3n: f1x0r3d h4x0r, n00b 2 f1r3w4ll, j0.

I think the only reason they haven't told me off for that is because they're too baffled over what I'm actually saying.

[110billion.livejournal.com]

*wipes a tear from eye* too good.

[archatos.livejournal.com]

I'm really glad we don't have to sanatise logs unless escalating higher up in the engineer chain. I'm in the lucky position that I'm approving troubleshooting and giving tech advise to support agents as well as taking calls myself. So, today somone replied to a question about how the customer's computer got damaged with the following:

I know the answer to this question. In fact, in call event 2 you will see that I asked the question, and customer said he doesn't have any children

So, after considering if I should go and ask for more information in person, or send the case back, I wrote my comment:

In the re-escalation you wrote that you know the answer to our question. This is a good thing, but it would also help us a lot in determening what to do in this case if you could share that information with us. We seem to have misplaced our crystal ball, and will unfortunately for the time being require full details in the answers you send.
As for the issue of the customer not having children, we are sorry to hear this, but unfortunately reproduction is not part of our support package.

I couldn't live with sanatised logs. My days would simply get way too boring.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Our customers have full access to the tickets in theory; in practice none of them except the other IT teams even knows about them, much less how to access same.

(Un?)Fortunately, at my workplace, we're pretty much unfireable. We can be talked to about what we put in the tickets, but probably not even pulled off the phones for writing "CEO called, told him to f*ck right off, the f*cking f*cker, until he approves our payrises. Used airhorn down phone line, mailed anthrax to his office, have made appointment to set his family on fire and reprogram his laptop with an axe. Advised he would need to dangle tie in shredder, stick power cable up butt."