No, it's fucking DIAL UP

[ihateemo.livejournal.com]

We have a 56K modem and are getting a connection speed of 26.6K. We used to get a connection speed of 33K. Is this as good as we can get? Can you advise?

Can I also add that the phrase "please advise" and all variants thereof are the most annoying turns of phrase ever? It irritates me no end.

Comments

[dr-atheist.livejournal.com]

Worse is TIA or Thanks in Advance, it's so f*ing presumptious.
It's saying I can't be arsed to type out the whole thankyou, and I wont bother to reply to comments that help me.
Also *crossposted to X Y Z community*, , really? I couldn't see that taking up half my f/l

[matgb]

Thanks in advance is requested in firefoxusers. Annoys me immensely as well.

My dial up is currently at 38.6Kbps. Good enough for me.

My answer would be.....

[jedisamui.livejournal.com]

I advise....
Get DSL if you want faster speeds. Can't get DSL? Go cable. No Cable? Go Satelite? Don't want the ugly dish? Get Verizon broadband wireless access? Don't want to do that? Fuck you and stick to dial up and the speeds it allows.

Re: My answer would be.....

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

I advise you to pony up if you want to go faster. The farther away you want to live away from civilization, the more you will need to pony up. We can put an OC48 in your mountain shack if you got the dinero.

Re: My answer would be.....

[jecook]

Yep.

My company has an office in Bisbee, AZ. the cost to have a full T-1 put in was going to be something like $1200 a month. DSL? out there? Riiiight....

We opted not to do the T1, as 1200 a month was the entire IT department's data comms budget for the rest of the company.

Re: My answer would be.....

[compwizrd.livejournal.com]

we're paying about 2000 a month right now for our T1 across the border.. we were paying 2500 a month for two 56k ptp links.. nothing like being stuck in a contract for so long.

[kedemel.livejournal.com]

Oh, ugh, I hate that. I get that with webtickets at work.

"reg1 does not work, we need it for holiday season
please advise"

Or...

"pc in bck dosnt work-need it for holiday
we are a high-volume store and we need it now
please advise"

(I do tech support for the internal systems at OfficeMax)

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

ADVISE TO SUPPLY DETAILS STOP

TECHNICAL REPAIR TEAM ARE NOT MINDREADERS STOP

OR FAIRY GODPARENTS STOP

APPRECIATE BREVITY BUT WISH YOU WOULD STOP

[scottish-alth.livejournal.com]

its CorpSpeak.

Pain in the backside it is.

[pne.livejournal.com]

To me, "please advise" sounds like a marker for "I come from India".

For some reason, I've seen it so far mostly with people whose names sound Indian.

Please Advise

[dario.livejournal.com]

I love to advise!!

I give very long and descriptive suggestions to people who ask me to please advise.

If the metrics of the place you work for allows for these types of deversions and actually still pay you for that time as providing assistance to your users Take full advantage of it while using it as an expercise in honing your weasel speak!!

Learning to communicate without providing any real or usful content is the key to sucess in our industry. Actually providing correct and valuable advise will get you good ratings evvery year but you will be stuck in Tech Support forever! ;-)

Re: Please Advise

[ihateemo.livejournal.com]

And you are my new personal hero. :)

[shmuffle.livejournal.com]

Ahah, because the days of tweaking init strings were just soooo much fun...

"My internet stopped working *silence*" has to be worse though. "It did? You never call me 'just because' anymore, do you even still love me? I feel like you've turned me into a masochistic tech support bitch with your endless take-take-take."

[hollyqueen.livejournal.com]

"Please reply" and "Please email or call with a reply" are my least favorites. Like I was going to post a damn letter in the mail to you!

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Carrier pigeon. With one wing. And dipped in A-1 sauce.

Here, kitty kitty kitty...

NO CARRIER

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

I also hate it when people get utterly pretentious but then also prove they don't know English. "Per your request, I have restarted my computer, but I still can't logg in." Or something like that.