(no subject)
Oct. 8th, 2005 09:45 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
combat-taco.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
techrecoveryFirst post here, hope you enjoy my pain.
Redondo Beach is one of the places on my quickly shortening list of towns that I don't want to kill myself over driving to. Its not particularly close and the traffic corridor I have to slog through to get there is downright hideous, but its a decent enough place to be once you get there. Besides, its right next to Hermosa beach, my favorite part of LA.
You know when you drive down a nice, suburban street with houses, picket fences, people walking their dogs, and all that cute shit, and theres a random shitty apartment complex just slapped right in the middle of the fucker? Like you know in the back of your head that some asshole has owned it for forty billion years and stubbornly wont sell the place so it can get what it deserves- a knock with a 50,000 hammer right into the ground? Well as my luck would have it I wouldn't be going to a no doubt million dollar plus home on this little street- I was headed to apartment H (it was written as an "8" on my workorder, which meant the person was retarded or really fucking old and couldn't talk).
Turned out he wasnt old, and at least legally wasnt retarded.
I sighed as I rang the doorbell- the welcome mat exclaimed happily, "WELCOME CATS, DOGS, AND HORSES!!!" with little paws everywhere. I recently learned i'm allergic to fuckall everything on earth including all mammalian life forms with fur, (I always kind of knew but at least now I have something specific to direct my hatred) so I knew I was in for a sneezeriffic time.
One of the ugliest people I've ever seen answered the door. I could have sworn it was a woman, but I wasnt even completely sure. I was there for a "Douglas" so I wasnt passing gender judgment just yet. It had a huge nose shaped like "Michael Bolton" from office space but even huger with a nose ring hoop, an awkward pre-mullet with half grey half brown stringy hair, large, scary eyes and a strange, borderline psychotic grin. The worst thing about him/her was the torso- wearing a small cut off belly shirt, exposing a bile-inducing gut below some sagging, bra-less breasts. It explained that the computer was in a room off to the right and it just wouldnt boot into windows. I walked to the door and was greeted with a life-size poster of a swimsuit model pinned to the door. "Douglas" didnt follow. Opening the room, I was greeted by upwards of a hundred stuffed animals adorning the bed, closets, desks, walls, everywhere. Okay, its a kids computer I'm thinking to myself.
It was at this point that it donned on me that I had'nt seen any animals and even though it was a small shitty apartment I hadn't smelled any evidence of cat or dog, nor seen any fur. The place certainly wasn't tidy or anything, so cleanliness was out of the question, but I passed it off as a coincidence at the time.
If its a kid using a windows 98 box that doesnt boot its probably hosed... realizing this was depressing because I'd have to be sitting in this small psychohappy kiddy room for probably two and a half hours reinstalling this piece of shit. The computer was on a table in front of the bed, whose mattress and box spring were both wrapped in a thick plastic covering.
This is where my troubles began that morning.
The kid was an obvious bedwetter. The blue comforter sheet on the little twin-size bed I was supposed to be sitting on had a huge greenish-yellow spot smack dab in the middle of it, and had shit stains spotted in various places all over it. Worse than that, there was what I only can assume were semen stains laden throughout this wrecthed excuse for a blanket. On some level I can see, as a parent, letting a kid wallow in his own filth until he gets sick of it and gets off his ass to clean up his room, but wouldnt you take the initiative and at LEAST fucking box the shitsemenpissblanket when the motherfucking computer repairman is coming by?
I looked up at the wall behind the bed and this got oh so much worse. I hadnt noticed it immediately because of all the bright colored stuffed animals everywhere, but adorning every wall of this 8 by 8 closet-room were pictures of naked women. With penises. My mind was racing, calculating. Okay it was definitely a transvestite, that's totally cool I'm not judging anyone based on that. Looking around some more, we had books on witchcraft, demonology, and ghosts. There were tons of naked barbie dolls all over the place- all naked, performing certain... acts. One had a clay penis and was masturbating. One was fucking a male ken doll up the ass with a make-shift strapon. Another was (I'm guessing) assfucking a my-little-pony. My inner child chopped off his penis and threw it into oncoming traffic.
Thats when I saw them. I felt like Frodo in Shelob's cave when he turns on his light and there's dead bodies everywhere and a giant maneating spider right in front of him. In the closet directly in front of me were a collection of fursuits. It all made sense, and a part of me died that morning. I nudged a clean appearing part of the blanket of doom to make a space to sit on the mattress, which I didnt fool myself into thinking would be much cleaner but I was just trying to remain sane at this point. If anyone ever doubted the horror that is the furry, 7/19/2005 NEVER FORGET. I willed myself to not focus on barbie debauchery, semen soaked blankets and fursuits or massive amounts of hermaphrodite porn and get the fuck out of there.
The computer wasnt worth saving. He didnt have a windows98 CD, and the hard drive had been formatted. I didnt think it could get much better(worse?) but then his mother walked in to pay me. Living with the mom at 45, priceless. She was expectedly crusty and flabby, with firey red dyed hair and idiotically long eyelashes. I noted that she was listening to conservative talk radio, AM 640, in her bedroom and chuckled. She opened her mouth and belted
"IT MUST HAVE TAKEN FOR-FUCKING EVER TO GET HERE"
"Yeah it was pretty baaaah-d." (I'm such a jerk)
"ITS ALL THOSE FUCKING MEXICANS. WHY WONT THEY DO SOMETHING?"
"I really don't know."
"FUCK JUST SHOOT THEM THEY DONT DO ANYTHING ANYWAY"
"Its a real shame."
"WELL THANKS YOU DID A GOOD JOB"
I smiled, nodded, and belted.
Redondo Beach is one of the places on my quickly shortening list of towns that I don't want to kill myself over driving to. Its not particularly close and the traffic corridor I have to slog through to get there is downright hideous, but its a decent enough place to be once you get there. Besides, its right next to Hermosa beach, my favorite part of LA.
You know when you drive down a nice, suburban street with houses, picket fences, people walking their dogs, and all that cute shit, and theres a random shitty apartment complex just slapped right in the middle of the fucker? Like you know in the back of your head that some asshole has owned it for forty billion years and stubbornly wont sell the place so it can get what it deserves- a knock with a 50,000 hammer right into the ground? Well as my luck would have it I wouldn't be going to a no doubt million dollar plus home on this little street- I was headed to apartment H (it was written as an "8" on my workorder, which meant the person was retarded or really fucking old and couldn't talk).
Turned out he wasnt old, and at least legally wasnt retarded.
I sighed as I rang the doorbell- the welcome mat exclaimed happily, "WELCOME CATS, DOGS, AND HORSES!!!" with little paws everywhere. I recently learned i'm allergic to fuckall everything on earth including all mammalian life forms with fur, (I always kind of knew but at least now I have something specific to direct my hatred) so I knew I was in for a sneezeriffic time.
One of the ugliest people I've ever seen answered the door. I could have sworn it was a woman, but I wasnt even completely sure. I was there for a "Douglas" so I wasnt passing gender judgment just yet. It had a huge nose shaped like "Michael Bolton" from office space but even huger with a nose ring hoop, an awkward pre-mullet with half grey half brown stringy hair, large, scary eyes and a strange, borderline psychotic grin. The worst thing about him/her was the torso- wearing a small cut off belly shirt, exposing a bile-inducing gut below some sagging, bra-less breasts. It explained that the computer was in a room off to the right and it just wouldnt boot into windows. I walked to the door and was greeted with a life-size poster of a swimsuit model pinned to the door. "Douglas" didnt follow. Opening the room, I was greeted by upwards of a hundred stuffed animals adorning the bed, closets, desks, walls, everywhere. Okay, its a kids computer I'm thinking to myself.
It was at this point that it donned on me that I had'nt seen any animals and even though it was a small shitty apartment I hadn't smelled any evidence of cat or dog, nor seen any fur. The place certainly wasn't tidy or anything, so cleanliness was out of the question, but I passed it off as a coincidence at the time.
If its a kid using a windows 98 box that doesnt boot its probably hosed... realizing this was depressing because I'd have to be sitting in this small psychohappy kiddy room for probably two and a half hours reinstalling this piece of shit. The computer was on a table in front of the bed, whose mattress and box spring were both wrapped in a thick plastic covering.
This is where my troubles began that morning.
The kid was an obvious bedwetter. The blue comforter sheet on the little twin-size bed I was supposed to be sitting on had a huge greenish-yellow spot smack dab in the middle of it, and had shit stains spotted in various places all over it. Worse than that, there was what I only can assume were semen stains laden throughout this wrecthed excuse for a blanket. On some level I can see, as a parent, letting a kid wallow in his own filth until he gets sick of it and gets off his ass to clean up his room, but wouldnt you take the initiative and at LEAST fucking box the shitsemenpissblanket when the motherfucking computer repairman is coming by?
I looked up at the wall behind the bed and this got oh so much worse. I hadnt noticed it immediately because of all the bright colored stuffed animals everywhere, but adorning every wall of this 8 by 8 closet-room were pictures of naked women. With penises. My mind was racing, calculating. Okay it was definitely a transvestite, that's totally cool I'm not judging anyone based on that. Looking around some more, we had books on witchcraft, demonology, and ghosts. There were tons of naked barbie dolls all over the place- all naked, performing certain... acts. One had a clay penis and was masturbating. One was fucking a male ken doll up the ass with a make-shift strapon. Another was (I'm guessing) assfucking a my-little-pony. My inner child chopped off his penis and threw it into oncoming traffic.
Thats when I saw them. I felt like Frodo in Shelob's cave when he turns on his light and there's dead bodies everywhere and a giant maneating spider right in front of him. In the closet directly in front of me were a collection of fursuits. It all made sense, and a part of me died that morning. I nudged a clean appearing part of the blanket of doom to make a space to sit on the mattress, which I didnt fool myself into thinking would be much cleaner but I was just trying to remain sane at this point. If anyone ever doubted the horror that is the furry, 7/19/2005 NEVER FORGET. I willed myself to not focus on barbie debauchery, semen soaked blankets and fursuits or massive amounts of hermaphrodite porn and get the fuck out of there.
The computer wasnt worth saving. He didnt have a windows98 CD, and the hard drive had been formatted. I didnt think it could get much better(worse?) but then his mother walked in to pay me. Living with the mom at 45, priceless. She was expectedly crusty and flabby, with firey red dyed hair and idiotically long eyelashes. I noted that she was listening to conservative talk radio, AM 640, in her bedroom and chuckled. She opened her mouth and belted
"IT MUST HAVE TAKEN FOR-FUCKING EVER TO GET HERE"
"Yeah it was pretty baaaah-d." (I'm such a jerk)
"ITS ALL THOSE FUCKING MEXICANS. WHY WONT THEY DO SOMETHING?"
"I really don't know."
"FUCK JUST SHOOT THEM THEY DONT DO ANYTHING ANYWAY"
"Its a real shame."
"WELL THANKS YOU DID A GOOD JOB"
I smiled, nodded, and belted.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-10-08 05:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-08 05:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-08 05:06 pm (UTC)OT
Date: 2005-10-08 05:09 pm (UTC)Re: OT
Date: 2005-10-08 05:16 pm (UTC)Re: OT
Date: 2005-10-08 06:10 pm (UTC)pissbeer.Re: OT
Date: 2005-10-09 12:52 pm (UTC)Re: OT
Date: 2005-10-09 04:46 pm (UTC)Re: OT
Date: 2005-10-09 04:49 pm (UTC)[snob]
I wouldn't know. I'm from Australia, we drink real beer here.
[/snob]
Re: OT
Date: 2005-10-10 03:53 am (UTC)Re: OT
Date: 2005-10-10 07:02 am (UTC)We make some of the best beer in the world. Well, not me personally, but I live close enough to enjoy the benefits.
What Australian beer have you tried?
no subject
Date: 2005-10-09 05:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-08 05:19 pm (UTC)And yeah, to reaffirm your point, I'm not a big fan of driving towards that area anyway.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-08 05:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-08 05:23 pm (UTC)My first reponse would've been, "...but I'm mexican."
no subject
Date: 2005-10-08 05:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-08 05:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-08 05:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-08 05:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-08 06:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-08 10:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-09 12:13 pm (UTC)Holy crap. That's so many levels of suck and pathetic rolled into one person. Why doesn't it implode?
(frozen) no subject
Date: 2005-10-10 02:57 am (UTC)Cause most furrys you encounter suck. Athough theres some of us who have real lives and dont wallow in furryness constantly.
Theres always that segment of a subculture that makes the rest of the subculture look bad, I personally would love to take a shotgun to that part in the furry subculture. I would really like to go to a convention without fearing the dealers room, swimming pool and hot tub.
(frozen) no subject
Date: 2005-10-10 09:03 am (UTC)(frozen) no subject
Date: 2005-10-10 10:40 am (UTC)(frozen) no subject
Date: 2005-10-10 11:44 am (UTC)(frozen) no subject
Date: 2005-10-10 11:46 am (UTC)::Puts moderator helmet on and readies the BanHammer::
Date: 2005-10-10 03:24 pm (UTC)The Only bashing allowed here is luser bashing (which is encouraged). Attacks on crazy internet subcultures due to posts that depict the wrong and strange end of that subculture will be treated appropriately. ::twirls BanHammer::
Speaking as a member of said crazy subculture, not all of use are like that. The whole "one rotten apple in the barrel" theory applies here.
the threads in question have been frozen for this reason. Let's keep it civil, shall we? I did ask him to park it behind an lj-cut due to the language (as some of us *gasp* read from work), and Combat_taco compllied.
Re: ::Puts moderator helmet on and readies the BanHammer::
Date: 2005-10-10 08:06 pm (UTC)And really, it was pretty civil (if you dont think so you should join either the pdxfurs or wa-furries mailing list, now thats non-civil behavior).
Re: ::Puts moderator helmet on and readies the BanHammer::
Date: 2005-10-10 10:54 pm (UTC)Just trying to nip it in the bud, as it were. We had some issues in the past with people posting inflammatory remarks in response to a moderator removing a post due to it's content.
I think I may have been a bit overeager here, and you have my apologies.