Time for a funny...

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

This one's from last year.
Note: I work internal tech support at a company with nearly 150,000 employees in all 50 states and in many foreign countries.
The caller wanted a ticket written to have a new computer delivered to him.


ME: Where should the computer be delivered to?

HIM: My desk.

ME: (duh, idiot...) Where is your desk, please?

HIM: Maryland.

No sh*t? That'll be easy to find, then!

I'll just go up to Maryland and shout for you when I get there, shall I?

(x-posted to customers_suck and my journal)

Comments

[tanuki-green.livejournal.com]

Well, you must admit that the response really falls into line on how MOST people answer questions.

TS: What seems to be the problem?

Cus: It's broken.

TS: Can you be more specific? What exactly is broken?

And so on...

Or at least that's how most of my conversations go...

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Yep, it's like they're all trying to Jedi Mind Trick me.

"What is the problem?"
"It is broken."
"Can you give me an error message or some details?"
"You don't need to see my error message. This is not the information you are looking for. I can go about my business. Move along."

[jecook]

I did a work order this morning. here is the exact text of the problem description:

"unable to open files
unable to send files to others
(once files are sent to others they can open them)"

It sat in the 'pending' queue for two weeks because I kept looking at it and went "HUH?????" I think it's an email issue.

I went out there this morning. Email works just peachy. I did notice that she's trying to send people "scraps", which are only useful of you are running windows 98 or Me. (most of our office folks are using XP, and a larger percentage of our sites are still runing win98. This is the only site under my area that's running Me...)

Said work order is being closed with three letters for the solution: CND (Could Not Dplicate)

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Heh, if I'd gotten that call here, it would have started like this:

"I can't make it go."
"What can't you make go?"
"The thing. It won't go."
"What thing, and in what way is it not working?"
"The thing I am trying to do! Why do you have to make everything so difficult? WHY WON'T IT GO?"

etc...

So yes, I sympathize.

[cmdrproteus.livejournal.com]

That's bad enough, but I hate when I ask whats wrong and they snap at me with "YOU'RE THE TECH! YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW!!!!!"

God forbid I do without my psychic abilities to try to help them out.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we have that remote desktop thing but we have to ask in order to connect. That doesn't stop everyone from assuming that we are already connected when they call in... EVEN IF THE PROBLEM IS THAT THEY HAVE NO NETWORK CONNECTION.

[tanuki-green.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry, I've recently been diagnosed with a disease that affects my magical/psychic abilities. So for the moment, can we assume that I need you to tell me about the specific problems you are having? Please?"

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

Well hell, it's a small state.

[shirenomad]

"I can yell loud enough for everyone in Maryland to hear me! What do you mean YOU can't?"

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

"Well, I won't be the one delivering the system, but I can certainly put in this ticket that the delivery person should yell as loud as possible."

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

well. also depends on how you ask :)
next time ask, "Can you give me the complete adress of the location, where the system should be delivered"

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

But then they will only give me the street address, and what I need is the city, facility name, building number, floor number, and office/cubicle number. :(

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

then tell them so :)
and if they tell you "do you have to make everything so complicate"
then ask them, "if THIS is complicate, what do you think it would be if you have to search whole maryland for one cubicle ?"

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

My point is, there is no way to make calls like this shorter.